Drown ✔

eight

🌻☀️ last chapter, let's gooo ☀️🌻

🎶Ghost of You by 5SOS🎶

Gulf's POV

Here I'm waking up, still can't sleep on your side.

I looked around the room, noticing some of your things that were still there. I sighed sadly, trying my best to accept the fact that you're now gone for good. But alas, it wasn't that easy.

I grabbed my phone to check the time but was hit by the fact that today is April 20th. Is that why you came to my dream tonight, to remind me of the worst day of my entire life? It's been a year, isn't it? I never knew time could fly so fast but feel aguishly slow at the same time. I can't believe the date that used to be our anniversary turns out to be your anniversary too.

I sighed again, slowly dragging myself out of the bed. I know for sure if I can dream long enough you'd tell me I'll be just fine. So I drown it out like I always do, dancing through our house with the ghost of you. Humming softly to our song while swinging my body like we always did but unfortunately, my feet don't dance like they did with you.

I stopped at the depressing realisation, grabbing some equipment to clean the house. Maybe that'll take my mind off of you. After all, I should start to accept it and move forward with my life.

But as always, luck wasn't on my side.
As I cleaned the room, I found that old Zeppelin shirt that you wore when you ran away when no one could feel your heart. We were too young, too dumb, to know things like love, but I know better now. Yet again, it was all too late now.

I abandoned the vacuum cleaner, dragging my barely alive body towards the kitchen, opening the highest cabinet and grabbing the bottle of tequilas, your once favourite. I chase it down, with a shot of truth, drowning myself in another sorrow and choked tears.

As my head gets lighter and lighter, I can feel your presence behind me, ready to scold me for drinking my problem away but also ready to pepper me with kisses and lots of cuddles. I smiled at the thought of you, remembering our sweet memories and all the pain we've caused each other. Recalling the night when the machine beeped loudly signalling your last decision, reminiscing the day that I was forced outta my room to attend your funeral.

At least you're in a better place now. At least you don't feel any pain anymore. At least one of my wishes come true, at least it was me that suffering now. But it's alright, I'm happy as long as you're happy. I'll be alright as long as you're alright up there, watching me and reminding me of things I should and shouldn't do.

But unfortunately, I'm not that strong. I'm nothing when you're not by my side, Mew.

I'm completely useless when you're not here to guide me. I can barely function for the past 12 months and I don't think continuing this without you is what I want.

Yet again, I know you. I knew you too well and I know you wouldn't want me to end my life just because you're not here anymore. As sweet as that sounds, the pain was too much and I was broken beyond repair. No more kisses and cuddles to light me up, no more sweet nothing to reassure me.

They did say the sooner the better, right? So why not end it now? I can finally meet you again and we'll hopefully be together again.

I grabbed the Zeppelin shirt, putting them on before making myself comfy on the couch. A bottle of tequila in my hand whiles the other four on the table. The sweet medicine rested just prettily beside them, waiting patiently for its time to be taken.

I chugged down every drop of the alcoholic beverage, feeling myself slipping away slowly but surely. I grabbed the colourful things, gulping them down in one go before downing the tequila.

"Sweet dreams, Mewwie. I'll see you in a few"

🌻☀️ fin ☀️🌻