Just Friends (NO LONGER WORKING ON THIS BOOK)

Chapter 3

Later that night, I lay awake, my mind refusing to shut off. I mean, by this point, it's practically impossible, especially considering I had just kissed my best friend. I glance at the time on my phone, 1:35 AM. God, what am I doing? I kissed my best friend, and now I'm staring at the ceiling at 1 in the morning. Am I going insane?

I kissed my best friend.

I don't even know where I got the courage to kiss her. When I was younger, I always imagined my first kiss in this very specific, perfect, almost dream-like way. I would be around 13 or 14 (which, considering I'm 16, that obviously didn't work out). I would be out with the most perfect, popular, handsome boy. We would flirt the entire night, share a milkshake, etc. Then, under the bright, starlit night, we would kiss on the ferris wheel as fireworks went off.

If 12 year old me found out that I had my first kiss with Charlie, let alone a girl, while we were skipping school together, and in a Chick-Fil-A parking lot, she would've freaked.

When I was in my early teen years, specifically around the ages of 11-14, I was in what you would call denial. I had fallen for Charlie in 7th grade, so around 12. Considering how 12 year old me would have reacted if she found out I had kissed a girl. and liked it, she wasn't exactly happy for this crush. But, it's okay, it's just a phase, it's just a small crush, if it's even a real crush. Sadly, for young me, it was a crush. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it's grown to more than just a crush at this point.

I think I might have had internalized homophobia. My family would watch a show on TV, and my dad would sneer whenever a queer person was shown, or even mentioned. That was probably why I was in denial. I didn't want to be like that. Someone who my dad looked down on. Not So Fun fact, that's exactly why I'm not out to him. Out or not, he still looks down on me. The only people I'm out to are Alessia, Kit, Justice, and.. I guess Charlie now, too.

As I take a sip of water, I get a notification on my phone.

Charlie.

Char: Hey.

I choke on the water. Why is she texting me this late? Why is she even awake right now?

Char: Please tell me you're awake.

Char: It's alright if you're not.

I hesitate for a moment.

Lux: Hey, sorry I took so long to respond.

I bite my lip. Why is she talking to me right now? The last time we saw each other, it was very awkward. After we kissed, she acted like it never happened, and we got our food. We ate, in silence, and then, once it was around the time I'd be getting home from school, she dropped me off at my house. I can't even remember if we said goodbye.

Char: I can't sleep.

Lux: And you thought that I could???

Char: Still struggling with that?

Lux: With what?

Char: You know what. You did it last night too. You're not sleeping well.

Lux: Well neither are you. And you've initiated these late-night conversations twice now. So there.

She's silent for a moment. I start to wonder if I've embarrassed her. As I'm about to turn off my phone, she starts to type again.

Char: I'm gonna watch a movie, so I guess I'll talk to you tomorrow. And no more fights, okay?

Lux: Ok.