Just Friends (NO LONGER WORKING ON THIS BOOK)

Chapter 8

"Lux, do you wanna-"

"No."

We're in the car, driving back to Kit's house.

The doctor gave me two types of pills. A medication for the seizures, and one to help with "anorexia". I don't exactly know what the second medication is actually for, but I'm probably not gonna end up taking it anyway.

"Lux-"

"No." I reply more sharply.

I don't wanna talk to Justice right now.

I don't want to talk to anyone right now.

They all probably think I'm crazy.

Kit suddenly hits on the car's breaks and we suddenly come to a stop.

"Do you really think we're going to judge you, Lux? We care about you. You can talk to us."

No I can't. None of you understand what's going on inside my head.

"Lux, I know how you feel. Trust me." Justice adds, quietly.

No you don't. I'm not going to trust you. You betrayed me. You're the reason I was falsely diagnosed with anorexia.

"I'd rather not.." I respond, my voice quiet and hoarse.

Justice seems to hesitate for a moment.

"I had anorexia.."

We all freeze, and I'm in shock.

"What..?"

"Yeah.. in middle school... I got help in freshman year. But, yeah, I know what you're going through, Lux."

Oh my god.

Are they actually serious.

How did I not notice?

Now that I think about it, the signs were there in plain sight.

It was obvious.

And I never said anything.

"Lux, we're here to help you-"

"I don't need help." I reply, anger pulsing through my veins.

I'm tired of their efforts to help me. It's not like they're helping.

"Lux, for fuck's sake, will you PLEASE calm down?!" Kit says, almost yelling.

I think about holding all my anger in, but instead, it all comes pouring out.

"NO! I won't calm down! You wanna know why? Because I can't trust any of you! You got me falsely diagnosed with anorexia. And guess what. I probably don't even have anorexia. I'm probably just a dramatic, little, bitch." I reply much quicker than I even knew I was capable of. I'm out of breath, and I'm shaking. I didn't even mean to say the last part. But, maybe I'm right. Maybe I am being dramatic and attention-seeking.

"Lux, I told the doctor the truth because I know how it feels to go undiagnosed. And I'm pretty sure you still don't believe you have anorexia. I understand why. I refused to believe I had anorexia, too. It'll be okay though." Justice replies, quietly.

I hesitate. What if I'm wrong, though, and they're right?

What if I'm just... in denial?

I mean, that's how I was when I was younger.

My father never believed me when I was sick.

Maybe that's why I won't believe it whenever something's wrong with me.