Killed in Action - A Spy School Story

Chapter 13: Graduation

CIA Academy of Espionage

Washington, DC

Bushnell Hall

June 1st, 2018

1445R

Alex POV

Normally, a faux-graduation takes place in a rented space elsewhere in the city, so as to put on a good show for the parents and families. However, the Department of Misinformation sent out a message that graduation had been canceled due to widespread hay fever of all things, so we instead had a small affair with students, faculty, and staff instead of families; and caps, gowns, and diplomas were replaced with formal wear and transport paperwork to wherever each student hailed from.

Rather appropriate, given that this was the last class of the CIA Academy of Espionage. The graduates—along with those with enough age and academic excellence in the next class—would continue their CIA careers as though nothing had changed, while the rest would be shipped back to their normal lives. Faculty and staff would be reassigned or retired, with Principal Sidebottom being among the latter.

I heard the staff talking about safety code violations that would cause the school's shutdown—building laws and whatnot—with a falsified gas leak being in place so that any stories of a CIA school would be nothing more than the product of carbon monoxide-induced hallucinations and/or brain damage (almost literal gaslighting). Further disincentivizing students and retired faculty and staff from blabbing would be the threat of immense fines, juvenile detention, and even federal authorities (namely the ATF, DEA, IRS, and FBI).

That aside, in a move that surprised all of us, Barnabus fucking Sidebottom of all people delivered a surprisingly insightful speech to close the graduation:

"All of you know what's happening and where you're going after today—whether you be students, faculty, or staff. Graduates continue, faculty and staff move or retire, and the rest go home. Few things to keep in mind: firstly, if you really want to come back, you can... with a college degree. There's nothing stopping you. There ain't shit keeping you from continuing down the Agency path. Relish the time you get with your family, because you don't ever get time back. Enjoy the damn normalcy. Hell... can't believe I'm saying this, but don't lose hope. Shit happens all the damn time and setbacks are normal. You don't need to blow sunshine and rainbows out of your ass, but push through the bullshit. Good fucking luck."

Notice how I didn't describe his speech as eloquent. But Sidebottom had a point: setbacks were part of life, and while you couldn't quite control the outcome, you could certainly control the effort you put in. I had to say, it was probably one of the better commencement speeches I've heard in my lifetime from an academic administrator.

He's still a jackass, though... even a broken clock and the mainstream media are right every now and again.

"Well, you did it," I remarked, shaking the hands of Zoe, Mike, and Nate—the last three kids I knew thanks to their entanglements with SPYDER—after the ceremony was over. "Good work, you three."

"Thanks, Alexander," Mike replied with a wistful smile. "Couldn't have done it without you."

"Nah, you're a smart kid."

"Where are you three heading now?" Cath asked.

"I'm going Navy," Nate replied. "SWCC—er, Special Warfare Combatant-Craft Crewman—basically a spec ops boat driver."

"Army, something related to communications and/or intel," Zoe answered.

"Air Force PJ. Paramedic with a gun," Mike added. "All three of us gotta report to bootcamp in August."