𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐋𝐘 | 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒

𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐖𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒 ? 𝐏𝐓.𝟐 | 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐈 𝐎𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐀

𝐉𝐀𝐒𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐑𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐋
𝟏𝟓

I sat on the bench , replaying Ethan's voicemail

I swiped back to the news feed , reading it over again

Still not fully taking in that he was gone

I felt deep down it was my fault , we never really were best friends again after we fought

We would still hang out , but it was never as fun as before

I can remember when I first got the news he had passed away

I was on FaceTime with a friend , I had been ranting about me and Ethan's strained friendship

David had ringed me , I hung up the FaceTime call , answering his call

' he's gone '

He said immediately , his voice cracking

I could tell he was crying

I couldn't even respond to him , I was in eternal shock

I hung up the phone , I cried myself to sleep that night

Actually every night ever since he passed away

I would try to convince myself that it was a sick joke being played on me , but I knew it wasn't

The only way I could kinda shake off the feeling was to listen to music

But everytime his song popped up , tears already were falling down my face

Everything was worse when everywhere I went people were doing this stupid ass dance mocking his death

Almost everytime I saw somebody do that dance I wanted to kill them.

But I didn't , they weren't worth the time

I looked at the sky , memories of me and Ethan replayed in my head

Constantly regretting the fight we had , wishing I would've been there for him when he was at the station

I looked at the picture album I had of me and him , just glancing at it made me sob

Almost everyday I saw the clip of him being carried up the station stairs , people were sick for even recording him knowing he was lifeless

I looked to the other side of the bench I was sitting at , staring at the abyss

Feeling comfort in the quietness around me , wishing that Ethan was here with me.