A / n : Disclaimer that this short will include drugs such as alcohol and pills.This short also includes Depression and real life struggles with Depression and attempting If you are not comfortable please skip.
Words : 1086
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Their was no doubt that you were one of the best Jedi out their in the galaxy. Everyone adored you for your work. Everywhere you went, people loved you and praised you for your work, and some even say you are the most respected person in the galaxy.
But this soon stopped when you went on a mission with a friend to sneak onto the star destroyer and get information. But you both go caught and your friend ended up dying so that you could live. So you did that for her/him.
But then soon that survivors guilt got to you one day and you couldn't get up from your bed for weeks with no end. You would only get up to use the bathroom or get some food and because of this you had piles of food bags and plates and spoons and forks pilled up in your room.
Luke was rarely ever home, but you did feel a sense of guilt beacuase he also sleeps in the same room that you have been in for weeks.
You sometimes wonder how a person like him could like you. Even now with your depression? Now way a man could love someone like that.
You sometimes have nightmares that started the day that your best friend perished. Bad dreams you would call it.
You've had nightmares of Luke and your bestfriend calling you named that included ' disgrace ' , ' Backstaber ' and the list goes on.
But one day you decided to come out of your bedroom. Come out of your Apartment to go out. But not for the right thing. You would go to the store to by pills and alcohol. You didn't care about what other people thought about you any more. All you wanted was this pain inside of you to go away and fade into the dark.
You came home from your shopping spree and went to your shared room. Finally, you realized how dirty and disgusting your room was. But you didn't care. All you wanted was the pain to go away.All of that guilt that is still inside of you from that day.
You sat on your bed and took the pills and alcohol out of the bag that the cashier kindly put your necessities in and you began to drink the alcohol straight out of the bottle. After a few sips you took a handful of pills and placed them In your mouth where they would dissolve and go into your stomach. All of the pain was finally going away.
Until you passed out on the bed with one of your hands that had started to become boney was on the alcohol and the other hand which had multiple pills.
You woke up to a bright light. Were you dead? Was it finally your time? Would you finally be with you bestfriend after all of this pain and suffering? Would you finally leave this place that made you suffer the most.
You were sertently not dead. As soon as your eyes got adjusted to the light you realized that you were no longer in your room in your small apartment. You were in the hospital. Needles in your hand and you in a hospital gown in a hospital bed connected to multiple machines.
You looked at the clock and it said 3:20 am. How long have you been knocked out for?Who found your lifeless body on your bed. How did they react?Who else knew about this?Did this get public? Abunch of thoughts lied in your head.
You turned your head away from the clock and on the other side of the room where you saw Luke. He was sleeping so peacefully on the chair as you looked at him. He had a tiny trow on sweater on him that could either be his or Leias. The thought of him sleeping peacefully warmed your heart but knowing why he is sleeping on that chair broke your heart into a million pieces.
A quiet sob quickly escaped from your lips at that thought. You don't know how long he could be waiting in the chair for and how worried he was when he was awake.
This quiet quick sob made Luke wake up and look at you. You were no longer asleep he realized and quickly got up from his chair to go stand to the side near your hospital bed.
' Hey..Hey.. Hey. Don't cry. ' Luke says
You didn't say anything but just look at him. You were starting to get tears in your eyes at his words. His tone. It broke you to realize what kind of destruction you had done.
' You had been asleep for awhile... ' Luke says
' Who...found me?.. ' You say
' Leia did along with C3P0 ' Luke says ' They found you with alcohol and pills in your hands ' Luke says
Leia?C3P0? They were the ones who had to experience the horror and the downfall of Y / n Y / l / n. Who had to see your lifeless body and tell doctors of what you had done.
' They found you at 7 Am since I asked for them to check up on you. I was informed at 9 am and heard that you had a seizure and nearly died. I was so worried y / n. ' Luke says
You couldn't say anything. Nothing could come out of your mouth but a sob.A sob of guilt.You had realized that you didn't just bring more guilt on to yourself but more guilt on the people who saw you and had to witness this.
' What made you do this y / n ? People have been worried sick about you. They care y / n. Is this beacuase of y / b / f / n ? . Tell me y / n all I want to do is help you. ' Luke says
You don't say anything. The room fills with silence and you could even hear the AC and the conversation with your neighbors.
All you did now was pull out your hands to Luke so he could hug you. He came into your arms and onto your bed that your lifeless body used to be laying on. You started petting his hair and you both start to fall asleep.You start to fall asleep knowing that this isn't the end of this conversation.
