DM; s. itoshi

; dm

"so you and sae broke up for good or what?" your best friend hiroki asked as he took a swig of beer from the mug filled with the amber alcohol.

you sat beside him at the bar, indistinctive chatter filled your surroundings on top of the mellow music playing from the speaker. watching as the bartender mixed up a cocktail for you, you let out a short sigh, "you know, i actually don't know. we still live together, which is really weird considering we called it quits like a month ago, but we hardly ever see each other, much less talk." you thanked the bartender for your drink, taking a sip from the glass before continuing on, "i want to believe we'll get back together but our lives are just so different now."

moving to japan after finishing university was never something you believed you were capable of doing. with the overall expenses of living and paying off student loans, you didn't think you could afford moving anytime soon. but when sae offered you the opportunity to move in with him in his apartment in tokyo, you took that chance with no hesitation.

at first, it was a breeze. you were able to job hunt and sae was able to focus on his career in soccer while still making the time for each other. but as things got more hectic, the time spent together eventually became less and less till one day you both came to the mutual decision in ending your almost 6 year relationship.

sae agreed to letting you live with him for as long as you needed till you were financially stable enough to move out, but it seemed like getting there was beyond reach. you started feeling like you were burdening him. despite helping with rent, doing chores, and cooking, it felt like your presence frustrated him.

living together while not being in a relationship stirred chaos. arguments became frequent and you two hardly bat an eye towards each other. with your schedules being completely different, you slowly started disappearing from his life. the only time you were both home at the same time was when it was late into the night. but even then you took the couch and avoided seeing him whatsoever.

"i genuinely think you guys could get back together. 5 years is a lot to throw away," said hiroki looking at you with sadness in his eyes. being the one who set you and sae up and watching as you fell apart made him upset. "like obviously right now might not be a good time, but in the future."

"i'm like 23, everyone i know is starting to settle now that half of us are out of school. i don't know if i can hold onto him any longer, what if it's a waste of my time?" you took another sip of your drink, "i love sae, i really do, but i think it's time i move on."

hiroki rolled his eyes, "[y/n], i'm gonna be completely honest with you, if you still love sae this much, there's no way you're going to get over him just like that."

you nodded your head in agreement, although you wished you didn't. it hurt knowing that sae wasn't your forever person. you weren't ready to let go of him but you saw no chance of him being back into your life.

"i just wish there was an easier way."

"the only way is for you to talk to him."

"i'm scared."

placing a hand on your shoulder, hiroki turned his stool to face you completely. "i know it's scary but if you really want him back you can't expect him to know that without you talking to him."

"goddamnit, why does this shit have to be so hard?" you sighed, "i wish he had some magical powers to read my mind."

hiroki stifled a laugh, "you'll be okay, i promise."

as the night ended, you stumbled into the apartment, tipsy but not drunk. thankfully the pub was near your residence so you could walk without being in fear of anything bad happening.
though you were distracted with hiroki's words about talking to sae. you were all for it but the only problem was finding the right window of time to catch him in the same place as you to talk.