Trust Me (A Harry Styles Fan-Fic)

Chapter 60

Harry's POV

I stare down at the tweet as I sit in the airport in London. Christmas morning and I'm sitting in a bloody airport. I haven't bathed in two days, and I haven't had a proper meal either. I deserve it though. I deserve every bad thing that comes my way. It makes me feel like some of what I did is being paid back, though I know nothing could ever live up to what I did to my poor baby girl.

Her tweet had me thinking, guessing and dying to know what she meant by it. I couldn't wrap my head around it because I felt like shit for her not believing I actually loved her.

Was any of it real?

Those words hit me like a knife. She didn't believe I actually loved her, not that I blamed her. I probably wouldn't believe myself either. I'd probably call bullshit and call it a day. Would anyone ever believe I loved them after the bullshit I put her through?

I should have fucking talked to her. I should have just asked her to stay with me. I should have explained myself, and I really shouldn't have kissed Julie. I shouldn't have even let her into my room two nights ago.

I was drunk- a horrible excuse, but I was. I was such a fucking mess, seeing her brought back such good memories we had together. Seeing her made me remember all the laughs and good things that happened between us. When we kissed, I felt nothing of the sort. I felt the hatred for her bubbling in my stomach. I don't know why I wanted to try and feel for her again, I really don't. She didn't deserve my breath, but she got ten times more than that.

I think my mind was fucking with me. I think I wanted to see if letting her go all those years ago was worth it. I had something great, but I was too stupid to realize it before it was gone.

I had the cheap pair of sunglasses I had bought on, hoping to keep my identity sealed. I didn't need a loud uproar of screaming girls hunting me down right now. It was Christmas. They needed to be with their families, and as much as I hated to admit it, so did I.

I felt alone and I felt cold. I was suppose to be waking up with my favorite person wrapped to me like her life depended on it. I was suppose to enjoy Christmas breakfast with everyone I loved and open presents with them as well. That just wasn't going to happy for me this year. I put it on myself, and I found it hard to complain because I knew I didn't even deserve as much as that.

I had called my mum when I landed in China. She yelled at me for leaving without telling her. I told her I was 20 and I could do what I wanted... she said she didn't give a fuck.

I told her Bethany had left me and I had gone to chase after her. She asked why, but I told her it was a conversation to be had in person. I was crying in the first class area bathroom in the airport. I was horrified someone would hear me, but the only one who heard my terrible cries was my mother.

She tried to calm me down, but there was only so much you can do for someone who's halfway across the world. I sucked it up anyways, and made it out of the bathroom as if nothing had happened.

Now I sit here, in the middle of the airport at 3:45 in the morning... waiting- waiting for Robin to come pick me up.

Everything haunts me really. Her tweet fucks with my head, making me want to crawl into a ball and cry. I lost her, and I was probably going to be arrested, or charged a shit ton of money. Did I deserve it though? 100% yes.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, startling me. It wasn't Robin though, it was a little girl who looked to be about 5 or 6.

"It really is you!" She exclaims and I try my best to smile at her.

"Shhh. I'm trying to keep it a secret that I'm here." I whisper to her and her mom grabs the little girls hand.

"Caroline. Come along, we have to get to Nan's house." She tugs on the child, but the girl doesn't budge.