Queen Alli - Beloved of Arjuna

Chapter 9

Arjuna and I spent a week together but it seemed like an eternity, they say that time flies when you are with the one you love. This is certainly true of Arjuna and me.

I often laughed at his jokes but I noticed that Arjuna's laughter did not reach his eyes. This was unusual for Arjuna. He was not the kind to take life too seriously but right now, he looked anything but carefree.

"What's the matter?" I gently asked.

It was as if all his defences had broken down, with all his vulnerability visible in his face, he whispered, "I don't know if this is the last time that I will see you and our son, Alli"

"What do you mean, Arjuna?" I asked, confused.

He swallowed hard, with an audible gulp, "The Kurukshetra War is about to start"

The floor seemed to sway slightly and I gripped the nearest tent pole to steady myself, "What?"

Arjuna had kept me updated about the latest happenings in his life. I was aware that his wretched cousins had forced the Pandavas into a corner.

I seethed in fury, "You have to fight a war all because that Duryodhana is too arrogant to hand you a mere five villages"

"He said he would not give us even a needlepoint of land" sighed Arjuna, "We were ready to negotiate, Krishna was our mediator but a negotiation is successful only when both sides are equally ready for a compromise. Nothing good will come of this war, Alli"

I sat down next to him and softly embraced him, "Alli" he began, "People I adore and respect are on the opposite side of the battlefield - Bhishma Pitamaha, Drona Acharya and many others. I was too proud of my archery when I was a teenager and because of my stupid ego, I hurt Karna and Ekalavya. Lord Shiva taught me a fitting lesson by appearing as a tribal man before me. He defeated me and crushed my pride in my birth. I learnt from him that warriors are made, not born but I learnt the lesson too late, I should have learned this as a teenager, not when I became an adult. I have made an enemy of Karna and I ruined Ekalavya's career"

"Arjuna" I whispered, "Do you know why Krishna supports you? He is an astute diplomat and a worldly wise man, he does not take any decision without reason. He chose to support the Pandavas for a reason"

"And what is that?" He asked, miserably.

"The Pandavas learnt from their mistakes — Draupadi learnt that she had humiliated an innocent man like Karna in public, Yudhisthira learnt that his gambling addiction cost him everything, Bhima learnt that he is not the strongest when he fought against Hanuman, you learnt that warriors are made and not born when you fought Shiva in his tribal avatar. You tell me, what did the Kauravas learn?"

"Nothing" said Arjuna

"Heroes are not those who make no mistakes and villains are not those who always make mistakes. The difference between a hero and a villain is not black and white or right and wrong. The difference is that heroes choose to learn from their mistakes, they feel remorse for what they did wrong and try to learn from it. The villains turn a blind eye to their own mistakes and spend their life blaming others for their faults. That's why Krishna chose your side and not that of the Kauravas" I explained.

"There are men who are true heroes such as Karna" murmured Arjuna

"Yes" I nodded, "but they are the rarest of rare, not all of us can be Karna but we can choose to try to be like him. You chose to become a better man and Duryodhana chose not to"

Arjuna smiled, "Thank you, Alli, I needed that encouragement"

"Arjuna, I will lend you my army, please take the Pandya army with you to the Kurukshetra battlefield"

"Alli! I cannot possibly do that!" Arjuna protested, "That would not be right!"

"Why not?" I asked, "I would be more than happy to help you in some way or the other!"

"What about you, Alli?" He asked, "What about your safety?"

"I will be fine!" I said, fiercely, "I want you to prioritise yourself, Arjuna. You are important to me!"

"Are you any less important!" Arjuna shouted, "You mean the world to me! I cannot possibly accept to take your troops with me.What about you, then?"

"Alright!" I conceded, "Take half of my troops, another half will remain behind. My men know who you are to me. They will obey your orders without fail, trust me!"

"Vow to me that you will come back to me, Arjuna!" I whispered.

"I promise! I want you to promise me that you will be safe, Alli!" He pleaded.

I kissed him on the cheek, "I promise!"

1 Month Later
"Arasi" the messenger rushed into my court, "The war lasted eighteen days and it ended in the Pandavas favour!"

I was so overjoyed that I removed the pearl necklace from my throat and gifted it to him immediately.

Another messenger rushed into the court, "Arasi! I bring bad tidings!"

"What is it?" I asked, anxiously.

"The Pandavas have handed over their kingdom to their heir apparent and they have chosen to go on a pilgrimage." He announced.

"What?!" I shot to my feet, who in their right mind would leave behind a kingdom after fighting such a bloody war for it?!

"Summon Arjuna!" I said, tersely, "I need to speak with him at the earliest"

Arjuna, why have you chosen to do this!?

"Arasi!" Another messenger arrived, "Lord Krishna is dead"

My knees shook on hearing this news, Krishna! No! How is this possible?! His charming face swam into my vision, how can this be possible?!

"He died by a hunter's stray arrow" the man announced.

I closed my eyes and prayed for his soul's journey to the afterlife. Since the day he aided me in fighting against me, we have become friends and we have been trade partners and allies for so long! Now, the world cannot see Krishna anymore! I cannot see him anymore.

Three Days Later
"Arjuna!" I cried out, "What is wrong with you?! Why did you choose to do this?!"

"Alli, calm down" he whispered, his eyes sunken and his face, gaunt.

"What has happened to you?" I asked him in distress.

"Alli, I regret waging this war! I question it every single day of my life" he said, wincing as if there was a knife in his heart.

"We won, Alli, at what cost? Did you know that Karna was my brother? I killed him in the war. They say you should treat your elder brother with the same respect that you give your father but what have I done?!" He said, his voice breaking, while he sank to his knees.

"Arjuna" I murmured, pulling him into my embrace, "Please calm down" I felt his tears on my shoulder.

It pained me to see one of the greatest archers and bravest warriors reduced to a crying child because of the trauma of war.

When Arjuna slept, he had a disturbed sleep as if he was still in the battlefield. I had to wake him many times to snap him out of his nightmare.

It was almost dawn by the time he was able to sleep, I lay next to him, wondering if he would ever stop blaming himself for a war that was not his fault.