Tolerance - Miguel O'Hara

Four ♡

My eyes flutter open at the sight of the sun peeking through my window. I struggle to remember what exactly happened the night before. My eyes scan my room for evidence, and I notice my spider-suit on the floor next to my bed.

Right...

I flip the covers off of my body and realize I'm laying half-naked in my bed.

I really must've been tired after whatever happened...

Suddenly, it hits me. "Peter...Miguel..." I whisper to myself, finally coming to the realization. I step out of my bed and suddenly hear a knocking at my door. I jump as I try to scramble on some normal clothes, and I shove my suit under my bed. 

"Petra?" It's Emilia who speaks and I drop my shoulders in relief, although I don't know exactly why I'm relieved. I reach for the door handle and open it quickly. 

"H-hey." I give her a sleepy smile knowing my hair is a mess and mascara is smudged underneath my eye. Suddenly, Emilia wraps her arms around me. 

"I'm so sorry." She whispers to me. I stare into the hallway, confused.

"What are you sorry for?" I ask and she pulls back.

Oh.

Now I remember.

I look down at the ground and at my feet. I take a few deep breaths before I hear Emilia's voice once again.

"Where were you last night?" She asks and I look up to her. I don't think I'm in the right state of mind for this right now.

"I uh...I went for a walk..." Emilia walks into my room and I close the door behind her. She sits down on my bed...

where Miguel sat

...and picks up a framed picture of Uncle Beron and I.

"He loved you very much, you know." She speaks.

"Please," My voice chokes, "I can't do this right now."

Emilia sighs and sets the image down. 

"Will you still be coming to my graduation party tonight?" Her words feel like a stab in the heart even though I know she doesn't mean it like that.

"No." I say flatly. I can't even look at her. I feel so...inhuman. 

"Right..." She sighs and sits up from my bed, noticing the paint all over my desk. "So you did a little arts and crafts last night, huh?"

Shit.

"I-uhm...I feel sick, Emilia." I place a hand to my forehead. "I love you but can you please leave?"

I manage to look her in the eyes, and she looks genuinely hurt. How? 

"I sure can." She makes her way to the wooden door and places her hand on the doorknob. "You know I'm just trying to make you feel better."

"Well, you're not." I say coldly to her back, knowing that I will regret it later. Emilia leaves as soon as the words leave my mouth. I stumble to my bed and place my head in my hands.

I should've stayed I should've stayed.

I shake the thought out of my head and lay back into my bed, I stare up at the ceiling and try not to cry. 

I can't cry.

I flip over and scream into my pillow.

How can someone be this stupid?

I get up after what feels like an hour, my stomach aches for food so I make my way to my small kitchen and pull out a banana. 

My hair feels greasy, my body feels gross. I step into the bathroom and notice the makeup remover from last night on the sink. I pick it up along with a cotton pad and look into the mirror.

Would Peter still find me attractive right now?

I laugh sarcastically to myself. I start to wipe the mascara away from my eyes. I force myself to smile into the mirror. I'm starting to feel better already. I run the water for my shower and strip from the mis-matched clothes that I had put on. I step into the shower and instantly feel relief. I spend a few minutes pondering, trying to process the situation I am currently in.

"Uncle Beron wanted me to tell you that with great power comes great responsibility." Aunt Mai's voice echos in my head.

That was my responsibility. My own voice echos in my head.

They liked me...well, Peter liked me. 

I could've helped.

I ran away.

I grab some shampoo to prevent myself from going insane. I rub it into my scalp for way too long.

I spend over an hour in the shower and when I finally step out I almost faint. I leave the steamy bathroom and enter my cold apartment once more. I throw on an orange tank top and brown bell-bottoms. I comb my hair and don't even bother putting on any makeup. 

I grab a book from my shelf hoping to get my mind off of things.

I'm about five chapters into the book when I realize it's not helping. I try to imagine the characters, but I keep seeing their faces. Why?

I think I might actually lose it.

I need to get out of here. I climb out of my window and make my way to the street. I begin walking with no destination planned out. 

I keep telling myself that I can't worry about them, they're from different universes and I will never see them again.

They don't matter to me.

They shouldn't matter to me.

I make my way to a music store and sit myself down at one of the pianos for sale. I run my fingers along the keys. I play a classical French song Aunt Mai taught me when I was a kid. I look around at the other instruments. 

Maybe I should start a band.

I laugh at myself.

After a while I get up and leave, I head into the neighboring store even though I'm clueless on what they sell. 

And then the next...and next...and next. 

I continue this for the rest of the day, well until the sun sets and my eyes start to fall on their own. I continue home with not a worrying thought in my mind.

When I arrive to my apartment, I change into a baby pink tank top and white shorts. I comb my out my blonde hair and sit down on my bed. I look at the picture of Baron and I.

"I'll make you proud, Baron." I bring myself to a smile. "I'll live up to what I was born to be." I glance at my suit hanging over my chair. 

I settle down into bed and close my eyes, pulling the warm covers over me. 

I'm just about asleep when I hear a knock at my window.