The Stanley Parable Oneshots

☆"¥0u h4v3 4 Pr0ub|3M"☆

The Narrator was watching Stanley, as per usual. But one thing about this was different.

Usually there would be a nice little cup of tea on the Narrator's desk, but instead of tea...it was alcohol specially Bruichladdich whiskey. There wasn't even a cup it was just the bottle.

Every once in a while the Narrator would take a sip out the bottle, it tasted...delightful.

Stanley was sitting in the Broom Closet. Not doing anything, he had zoned out about fifteen minutes ago.

The Narrator looked at the bottle which was almost empty, as any person who had self reset for themselves would do, he drank the whole bottle until it was finished.

"..wHYzz nO moREe??" The Narrator slurred, he was pretty drunk after just one bottle. He grabbed the bottle and put it with the other empty alcohol bottles he had.

The Narrator had a little problem with alcohol. It was just a little one nothing that big. He would just drink it in-between resets or if he wanted sleep he would drink gin to nap.

Okay maybe this was a problem, but he had never drank a whole bottle before... Wait..No! He has drank a whole bottle before, he drank it when Stanley was doing the Skip Button Ending. And the Zending. Maybe the Countdown Ending.

Even when the Narrator would drink a full bottle he would make sure it wasn't strong, so usually he would just get white wine and drink that.

The Narrator wobbled over to his..ahem..Top Secret Super Duper Secret No One Can Know About This Alcohol Stash which contained of many alcohol brands, it was all organized by color and alcohol type too.

"Num Num Num" The Narrator said like the Roblox eating burger noise, as he grabbed another Bruichladdich bottle off the shelf and began drinking from it.

He didn't have the energy to go back to his corner desk that was practically just a square of monitors with a seat in the middle of them, so he prompted for his couch that was just a copy from the one's in the boss's office.

Stanley was in the Boss's Office, he didn't think anything was wrong. He just thought he blocked out the Narrator's voice again.

The Narrator was super drunk, in fact I think he passed the word drunk. He wae wobbling, he could barely speak without slurring, and he could not just think correctly.

Stanley had finished the Freedom Ending and was back in the void where TimeKeeper was.

"P|34$3 3nt3r th3 curr3nt t!m3."

4: 2 7 Was what Stanley typed in, it was the only time he could think of.

"¥0u 4nd th3 N4rr4t0r h4v3 b33n qu!t3 d!d y0u guy$ f!ght¿"

[Has he not been talking?]

"N0, h3 h4$n't"

[Oh. I thought I just tuned out his voice]

"Sh0u|d ! g0 €h3€k 0n h!m¿"

[Maybe, he usual gives me a warning before leaving or not talking]

"0h, ! kn0w wh4t'$ g0!ng 0n"

[What's going on then?]

TimeKeeper didn't say anything but it disappeared into the darkness of the void.

[TimeKeeper?]

TimeKeeper found its way to the Narrator's small office.

[..TimeKeeper???] Stanley still signed to nothing.

TimeKeeper opened the door quickly as it soon found the Narrator almost passed out on the couch.

"hEYyy hOttt stUfff" The Narrator slurred as he lifted his head up to see TimeKeeper.

"N4rr4t0r, ! th0ught w3 b0th agr33d y0u w0u|d st4y 4₩4¥ fr0m a|€0h0|"

"whYyy??"

"B3€4u$3 ¥0u 3nd up l!k3 th!$"

"meaNiee"

TimeKeeper rolled its eyes as it picked up the Narrator. Despite the Narrator being bigger than TimeKeeper it was able to pick him up easily.

TimeKeeper put the Narrator down on a makeshift bed that the Narrator made when he was sober. It consisted of 4 couch cushions and 1 grey blanket.

"bOooo yOu sUCk"

"4nd ¥0u h4v3 4 Pr0ub|3M"

The Narrator was about to say something else but he passed out before he could.

TimeKeeper sighed to itself as it looked at how many empty bottles there was. Surprisingly, but not really since it's the Narrator, all of the bottles were arranged in some sort of pattern, stepping back TimeKeeper realised the bottles spelt out THE STANLEY PARABLE BOTTLE STACK.

TimeKeeper slapped its own face and began walking to the Museum, it needed to tell the Curator what just happened.

Stanley was still in the void because only TimeKeeper was able to bring people to and out the void.

[..TimeKeeper??]