Silver / |

Failure

CW: suicidal thoughts and behaviors.

-

Angello sat on the couch, staring blankly at the wall in front of him. What was stopping him from ending it right now? Maybe the fact that jumping out of the fourth floor might not kill him.
And what if he had 9 lives? Or what if his cat-like reflexes worked better than ever if he jumped? He wasn't scared of successfully ending his life, he was scared of failing and recieving pity in return.

But there were many ways to commit suicide.. And if he recalled, Maria had told him about a patient overdosing on medication. That was the easiest way, then.
If he failed no one would have to know, and if he succeeded, well.

Angello let that thought linger for some time, and it didn't sound half bad, it actually sounded great. Maybe he could ask Julio for whatever drugs he makes, medicine wasn't the only way to overdose.

That was a plan, and a good one at that, other than the fact that he had absolutely no clue where the fuck Julio lived, but that was a minor setback. Angello stood up and walked to the bathroom, the one near his bedroom.

He walked in, and found himself pleasantly surprised at how neat everything was, and labeled too. Had Kamnan done this for him? Or did he just like it this way?

But that curiousity was instantly stopped as soon as his eyes landed on pills, sat on the sink. Silently tormenting him as if they'd heard his previous thoughts.
He could see so clearly through the translucent orange package, and very slowly he moved closer to the sink and grabbed it.

Open it and take as many as there are, that'd kill him. He said his goodbye's to his siblings already, and they'd be the only thing he misses when he's tortured for eternity in hell.
They wouldn't have to know what happened, right? To them, Angello just left one day and never returned.

He felt a lump in his throat, and his eyes flooded with tears.
Leave just like their dad and mom.
Just like Rodrigo.

Then the news of his death would come on one of their birthday's, just like the news of Rodrigo's death came on Angello's birthday.
He slowly opened the package and looked inside, hot tears now rolling down his cheeks.

But this wasn't fair, not to himself, but to them.
Rodrigo had died in an accident, he hadn't wanted to die, but Angello?

How would Maria feel? Having experienced all these losses, that thought was enough to make Angello's vision so blurry he could barely see the pills.

Then to his surprise the front door unlocked.

-

Kamnan pushed the door open and placed the grocery bags on the floor, and as soon as he unlocked the door he heard something fall to the floor. Many things, in fact.
Plastic, and other sounds he didn't quite recognize.

"Angello?" he called out, and after a few seconds of silence.

"Yes?" he heard from one of the bathrooms.

He sighed and locked the door, "I got some groceries!" he exclaimed, but didn't recieve a reply.

He took his shoes off and put them in the shoe cupboard right next to the door, then walked to the bathroom near the bedrooms.
Only to see Angello standing there and staring at the mirror blankly.