The Gotham Queen

Chapter 25

Why can't everyone just leave me alone? Why does everyone have to have it out for me? No one is nice to people just to be nice, and I don't understand why. Why does everyone think they have to be monsters?

Because they get run over and used if they're nice. You've been nice to Kyle all this time and look where that got you. Nice gets you killed, Harley. You have to fight fire with fire. In order to kill a monster, you have to become one yourself.

"I just want to live my life." I sob as I look at my rearview mirror. "I just want to be okay, but no matter what I do, I'm never happy." I've been driving for a little while now, having nowhere in general in mind to go. Not like I have anywhere to go, anyway.

My vision keeps blurring because I can't stop crying. My tears keep falling, and I have to keep wiping my face. I probably look like a down-right mess, but I couldn't give a shit. I can feel myself break more and more with every sob that racks through my body, and I spiral into the darker part of myself.

My clothes, my furniture, and my old apartment are all gone. I can't even go back to the motel because Kyle ruined that, too. He found all the money and took it back, plus what I brought home for my first paycheck. He's taken everything from me and left me with nothing. And my father just let it happen!

I pull over and get out of the car, slamming my door behind me. I grab my hair and scream out in wild anger. I turn around and punch at my door. I kick and hit my car, my knuckles splitting open.

"Why is everyone so against me?!" I scream into the air around me. "What did I do in my past life to warrant this much brutality?! I must have brutality mutilated several children and animals in my past life." I cry as I hit my head against the window of my door, causing my head to start bleeding. I grab my hair before slapping the shit out of my head, trying to get the pain and anger out.

I scream as I get back into my car, my head bleeding in several places as I try to calm myself down. I'm breathing heavy as I stare at the steering wheel, getting myself under some kind of control. I look up at the rearview mirror, and nearly break into another meltdown.

My eyes are dull and lifeless with dark bags under them. My skin is paler than it usually is, making every mark and scar more visible. My hair is a complete mess with tangles and loose hairs sticking out everywhere. I look like death, and I have the sudden urge to just drive off a cliff to make me as dead as I look.

I sit there and quietly cry to myself as I look out at the city around me. Gotham looks just as dull and lifeless as I am, and it makes me even more depressed. Why did I let this all happen? What did I do wrong? My life was perfect when mom was alive, but then she died, and my life went to shit.

"Why does no one care about me?" I ask myself and look in my rearview mirror again. However, she doesn't appear, and I sigh. Great, I chased off my one friend. Well, I might as well go to the store with what little money I have in my purse. I'm going to be living in my car for a little while, so I should get some clothes for work at least. I chuckle humorlessly. "Maybe I should ruin that, too."

~~

I get to the mall as quick as I can. I don't want to be out and about for that long. I don't want to make the risk of running into Kyle or my father any higher than it already is. I don't think I can take anymore today.

I run my fingers through my hair before throwing it up in a loose bun. I don't even care if people see the marks anymore because no one cares enough to say anything let alone do anything. I grab my purse and make my way inside, quickly making it to my favorite store without anyone stopping or asking me why I look like hell.

I'm browsing through the suits and work clothes when my eyes catch sight of a beautiful bright red cocktail dress. It would look amazing on me, but all the warnings go through my head. Plus, it's to inappropriate for work with its sweetheart neckline that would show a lot of cleavage. It's also relatively short, and I'm guessing it would only stop mid-thigh.