The Gotham Queen

Chapter 33

The guards take off my handcuffs, ignoring the sobs that fall from my lips as I'm dragged away from where I left my heart buried. Nothing is said between us as I cry my heart out, feeling stupid for falling for the one person everyone warned me about. They really are just backstabbers and monsters.

"I'm sorry for causing so much trouble." I tell the guards, but they don't say anything. This saddens me further because now I have no one of the good side or the bad. I'm all alone, and I have nowhere to go.

I'm dragged through the lobby, everyone stopping to look at me in disappointment and shame, but I don't care. I can slowly feel myself shutting down to nothing but an empty shell. Honestly, I'm shocked I'm not getting locked up with the crazies.

We make it to the door, and I'm released. I stand there for a second, looking back at the Asylum that's felt more like home than my actual home before I start down the stairs. However, God seems to be out to kill me completely because I trip over my own feet and fall down the stairs. I lay at the bottom, barely registering the pain as I stair up at the sky.

Get up, Harley.

"Why? There's nothing left for me anymore. The one thing I had going for me is over. Maybe a riot will happen, and I'll die as I lay here." I start to sob as I realize that I really am alone. Why did he tell me to heal myself if he was just going to tear me backdown? What was the point in anything?

Oh, Harley...

"Don't call me that. Don't call me anything. I don't deserve a name, or anything else." I say to her before the door opens at the top of the stairs again. Cash slowly walks down the stairs and sets my purse neck to me, which is filled with all my things.

"I didn't know if you'd want it, but I brought this, too." Cash says as he sets my vase of roses next to my purse and I can feel the pain get worse as I cry harder. "Even though I don't approve, I noticed how happy you were. I'm sorry everything happened to you."

I don't say anything, and he sighs as he walks back into the building. I just stare at the roses before sitting up, grabbing them, and hugging them to my chest. I cry as I rock back and forth, breaking down in front of the stairs.

I scream, punching at the ground with my free hand. The only good thing I had in life has been ripped away, and I have nowhere to go. Joker told me to go home, but I have no home to go to. Arkham had been my home. He had been my home. He told me that it'd all be okay, but it's not. Nothing is okay, and I want to die more than I ever have.

I vaguely remember grabbing my purse and getting into my car. I don't remember the drive to my motel, but that's where I find myself. I sit in the parking lot, contemplating whether or not to drive straight into the building. Would that even kill me?

Probably not.

"I just wanted to say goodbye for now. Why did he have to hurt me like that? I had thrown away my old life and had been willing to do anything for him, but he had to turn me away...WHY?!" I scream as I hit the steering wheel over and over. I scream and scream as I hit everything that I can get my hands on.

I pull at my hair as I think about how I got so caught up in trying to cure my patients that I didn't realize they were backstabbing me. Did they all plan this?! Let's play with the new doctor who's naive and broken! Let's make her think we're all friends and act like we're there for her! Then when she's ready to hang with us, we'll crush her like she's nothing!

"I fucking trusted you!!" I scream as I cry out, sobbing as the pain tears me up. I cry and cry until I can't no more. I sit there in my car as I stare blankly once again. Is this my life now? Full meltdown or blankness?