Sparrows Song

Chapter 15

Jane kept herself pretty busy in the next couple of days that followed, trying to keep her mind off of Andy the best she could. She finally connected with Jenna and ended up spending a couple hours on the phone with her. She told her about the breakup, but left out select details about the reasons why, and also everything about Blake. She would tell her eventually, but she wasn't quite ready yet. And anyway, they made plans to have a lunch date or get together for drinks later that week, and Jane had a feeling Jenna would pull all the gory details out of her then. Jane also stopped by her mom's house to tell her the news, and as predicted, her mother was extremely disappointed but was still supportive. She supposed it could have gone worse, and Jane felt a little better to have things out in the open with her family and friends.

But it was difficult to completely keep her mind off Andy, because he continued calling and texting her. Long texts, where he sort of poured his heart out. She had replied briefly to a few of them, but didn't answer any of the calls. Each message she read sent her further down into a spiral of confusion and hurt as he accused her of being manipulative, of enjoying causing him pain, and professed that he had never loved anyone as much as her and never would. From there he began with the crude insults. She looked at her phone, tapping her thumb on it a couple times while she thought, until she made up her mind. She hit the block button on Andy's number.

That brought her about a day's worth of peace, until she started receiving texts from various strange numbers. It wasn't very hard for her to figure out who they were from. She blocked each number and didn't reply to any of them.

She also made an appointment with her therapist, and was grateful when she fit her in for a late afternoon session. She had grown to trust Dr. Andermann in the years she had been seeing her, and she was always able to help Jane gain perspective on things. Jane told her all about the breakup with Andy in pretty significant detail, and even went as far to mention her living arrangements with Blake, although she conveniently left out the part where Blake and Andy had almost killed each other. Dr. Andermann reassured Jane that she had made the correct choice breaking up with Andy, and that his behaviors were not healthy or loving, in fact, they were abusive. Jane felt moderately better by the time she left.

When she came back to the apartment, she found Blake eating a pizza he had thrown in the oven in her absence. He offered her some, and she grabbed a slice.

Blake was curious about what transpired at her therapy session. He still felt adamantly that Jane didn't need it. She was probably one of the most functional people he had ever been close to, and he distrusted doctors and, well, most people by default, so he really didn't understand why she thought she needed therapy. And he was a little worried about what Jane might have told her therapist about him too.

Jane handed him a piece of paper. "Here, read this," she told him.

He took it, perplexed. It was a handout entitled 'Healthy Relationships'. He looked at it, completely baffled on why she would be asking him to read this or what it meant.

Jane huffed as she noticed his confused expression. Honestly, he could be sort of an idiot sometimes. "Just do it, OK?"

"OK," he agreed. He skimmed the sheet. It was talking about things like communication strategies, conflict resolution, fair fighting, and boundaries. He still really didn't understand what any of it was supposed to mean to him, but Jane has been acting kind of weird around him the last couple of days. She had been quieter than usual and more introspective, and he wasn't sure what to do to fix it.

They lapsed into silence again as Jane ate a second slice of pizza. Finally, Jane spoke, bringing up the topic seemingly out of the blue and further bewildering Blake, "when we broke up, three years ago, why didn't you try to contact me sooner? Why did you wait so long before you showed up at my door that day?"