Sparrows Song

Chapter 16

Blake really wanted to try to make the most of the few short weeks he had left with Jane before she moved out, but as each day passed he could only think about how empty the place was going to feel without her, so he couldn't really help it if he was even more melancholy and sulky than usual. Yeah, maybe Jane had told him they would still see each other, but he had questions about that. Did she really mean it? And how often would it really be? Because he had gotten really used to seeing her everyday, and now it felt like it would be hard not to. He wondered if he would be brave enough to call her just to hear the sound of her voice, or if it would annoy her if he showed up randomly at her place just to be close to her.

And then there was the fact that she was still here with him right now, so within his reach, that was making it nearly impossible for him to keep his hands off of her. It wasn't as if he hadn't wanted to touch her this whole time, and if Jane had ever given him just the tiniest window of opportunity he certainly would have, but he thought she made it pretty clear she wasn't interested in him like that. Even so, just knowing that their time together was limited coupled with the fact that the two of them had somehow become closer as friends, more intimate in ways other than just physically, it made him greedy for even more. Because it just wasn't enough; he really wanted all of her.

He knew he had to continue to hold himself back, because he didn't want to jeopardize the friendship that they had developed, but every day now it was like his whole body was taut with the tension of his restraint. He wondered if Jane could sense it, because if she could she was doing a good job of pretending she didn't. Did she feel even the tiniest bit of something when their fingers accidentally brushed when she handed him something? Did she know how much it affected him when she walked from the shower to the bedroom, wet hair all wrapped up in a towel, wearing nothing underneath the one wrapped around her body, and he could smell her shampoo? God, it was killing him.

Blake needed some sort of outlet for all his extra pent up energy, so he actually started going back to the gym that he had a membership at. The membership was one of the benefits Josh gave all the employees at his work. Josh was into mountain biking, kayaking, outdoorsy things like that, and he was always saying how since they all worked so long sitting in an office setting he wanted to do something to promote healthy lifestyles. Surprisingly, Blake had found that he liked exercise, and it was actually a healthy way to deal with all his excess frustrations. At least it took the edge off a little bit.

Jane was sort of a busy-body anyway, she was always running out here or there, shopping, visiting her mom, or going to a kick-boxing class, so even with her still living there he had extra time on his hands. And with Blake tracking Andy's movements, he no longer worried about her doing any of these things. That was the other thing that pained him about her leaving, because everything was going so well right now, and he knew once she was gone his anxiety about her safety would probably creep back in. It's not like he could monitor Andy 24-7, and even if he did, he wouldn't always know what Jane was up to. He wasn't really sure how he was going to deal with that yet.

For her part, Jane was not actually totally oblivious to the intense mood between the two of them. It was pretty clear to her that Blake was even more surly than usual, a little bit sad, even if he tried to play it off. And what made that worse was the fact that she knew she had the power to change it. She was pretty sure all she had to do was make one small move and she could make him completely unwind, and that was a really enticing thought. She was sort of surprised by how much she longed for this, and the feeling only seemed to be getting worse the longer she stayed there. Maybe it would be good to get a little bit of separation between her and Blake too, because she was not sure if she could resist the pull of attraction between them much longer, and yet she knew she had to. She just wasn't ready yet. It would be a bad idea to get involved with Blake right now, and she knew if she gave in just once there would be no going back.