Fifty Shades of Romanoff

31

I followed her into the office as she paced in front of me. "I don't know how to go about this with you." She sighed plopping herself down on the couch instead of at her desk looking at her hands distraught.

Maybe I was taking things too far.

"It's nothing against you or your rules Natasha. It's just I don't want to have this contract constantly being waved over my head like a restriction or something. That's not how I like to be treated." I crossed my arms pacing back and forth.

"But that's all I know Y/n."

I felt guilty seeing that I've put her in some sort of crisis. I took a seat beside her pulling her into my side as my body instantly felt complete with her by my side again.

"Like you said our situation is different then what you've had in the past. So why not leave the rules in the past as well, let's write our own future. I don't want to be treated as just another person you get to use and then throw away when your done with."

"Is that honestly how you think I would treat you." She pulled out of my touch almost looking hurt by my words. "Do you really think that little of me?"

"I-I don't know what to think of you." I just didn't want to get hurt in the end. I can't deal with another person walking out of my life and leaving me to pick up the broken pieces again. "I just don't want to get hurt Natasha."

"And you think I do?" She stands up looking at me with an unknown expression.

Disappointment, betrayal, sadness maybe?

"Y/n I've also had a rough past so don't try and belittle my feelings or make them feel invalid because of your personal problems." Her tone sounded defensive.

"God Natasha that's not what I was trying to do!"

"Really because that's how it sounded." Her eyes held pain as she bit her cheek trying to hold herself together.

"I want you. Can you not tell I want you so badly. I want you to give me every piece of you, I want to be able to call you mine every single day. But I can't because you keep forcing me away, your rules, this contract, they're all the same in the end. You use them to your advantage when things go south and I don't want that kind of relationship with you." I walked over grabbing a hold of her hands getting her to meet my eyes.

"Natasha I care about you whether I'd like to admit it or not and I just wish you could show me the same."

"I care about you too." Her voice cracked as she took a breath. "I'm just new to all of this."

"We can go slow." I wiped a stray tear away as it rolled down her soft rosy cheeks.

"We'll figure it out Nat I promise." I pulled her into an embrace as she wrapped her arms around me.

We'll figure it out.

I think.

~
I went home early that day needing some time to think things over and gather my thoughts and emotions. Romanoff was already starting to become a mess by this chaotic situation we've put ourselves in and I figured it would be best if at least one of us was still standing strong. Even if I never thought that person would be me of all people.

I was currently sitting on my couch freshly showered watching romcoms and eating a tub of ice cream.

Yeah this was how I was dealing with it.

I eventually fell asleep and my mind drifted off into wanderlust thoughts.

Her lips on mine.

Her soft kisses trailing down my skin.

Her hands wandering down my body.

Her fingers.

Her tongue.

Her moans.

Her lustful looks.

I gasped sitting up on the coach a sweaty mess. I can't do this anymore I really can't.

I want her.

I need her.

I went into my room throwing on some sweats and a t-shirt. But the top layer of clothing wasn't what mattered right now.

I rushed down to my car hopping in and knowing exactly what destination I was heading for.

My heart thumped in my chest as the numbers went up with every floor level I passed.

My fist knocked against the hard surface as I awaited for what was to come of my spontaneous actions.

The door opened and I felt relief wash over me seeing that she had left work early for once and I made the right choice in coming here instead of her office.

"Y/n what are you doing?"

"I need you." I pushed through the door letting myself in as she looked at me wide eyed. "I-I don't care if I have to sign a stupid piece of paper to show you I'm serious about this. All I know is that not having you to call mine at every moment of everyday is eating me up inside and I can't push it away any longer."

"Fuck the contract." She blurted walking toward me as I stumbled backwards down the hall moving farther away the closer she got.

"What?"

"I don't need a contract Y/n, your more important to me. If I have to bend my morals or change in order to have you I will."

My heart skipped as she caught up with my steps my back hitting the end of the hall. I was nervous but also craving what was to come next.

She twisted the handle as her lips fell upon mine and we entered the room that shall stay between us.

It was our little secret.