Fallout: Equestria, Project Horizons

Chapter 20: Mercy

Project Horizons
By Somber
Chapter 20: Mercy
"Tough love, baby!"

It'd been raining for a while now. A cold rain. A hard rain. The kind of rain that makes you feel like somepony up there doesn't like you. My throat burned, my legs ached, and every breath I took sounded like rasping metal. I looked up into the rain, too tired to even cry. But not too tired for this; for what I had to do.
I started to dig.

* * *

It doesn't hurt... It doesn't hurt anymore... It doesn't," Rampage whispered to the crushed Thorn over and over again.
She was right. It didn't hurt. The shock rolling through me had mutated into something completely new: a fury so absolute and complete that I launched myself at the striped pony, not caring about my injuries or even that I'd no way to kill her. It'd taken a combat drug cocktail last time. This time, it was something even more potent: my absolute and complete failure to protect a filly I'd sworn to. Rampage had told me she was a monster. If it took a monster to kill her, then that is what I'd become.
"Murderer!" I screamed as I struck her, knocking the poor foal's body from that ghastly embrace. I screamed again, seizing her head in my hooves and slamming it against the metal railing again and again. I heard bones break and felt the spongy material within. Then I felt the head resolidify. No problem. I'd just do it harder and faster, again and again and again, till it worked!
Every bit of frustration, all my failures, built into a horrible frenzy within me. I was supposed to keep ponies safe! I was Security, damn it! Of course the first pony she'd go to was Rampage! And I'd been warned; I'd told her I'd stop her if she was alone around a filly. But nopony had thought to tell the Crusaders to keep Thorn away. How could we have explained it to her, anyway; she'd just lost her mother! She'd just watched her get put in the ground! How could I have been so stupid?
Just one! Just save one, Blackjack. Couldn't I even manage that?
Crack! Crack! Crack! Finally, Rampage heaved me away, her inequine strength sending me rolling across the cracked asphalt. The look in her eyes, the tone of her voice, the way she stood... it was all... different. "Murderer? You monster... don't you get it? This is the merciful thing to do," she said calmly as she charged at me, her lips curled in a snide grin. Her cutie mark churned over and around the pony skull.
I wrapped my forelegs around the railing behind me, twisted, and planted a double rear kick to her face just like a certain little orange pony would. The kick would have knocked out most mares, the crunch of a broken snout ending the fight. Rampage was not most mares. "She was suffering. I gave her mercy," she said quite matter-of-factly. Like I was an ignorant foal.
"You didn't have to kill her to end that, Rampage!" I yelled as she came at me again, throwing her forelegs around my neck and starting to squeeze. Only the rain allowed me to slip my head free before she popped it off entirely. I ended up beneath her and bucked to toss her up. As she dropped back down on me, I slammed my spine into her ribcage. Her breath whooshed out in a satisfying gust. I tossed her off my back; she landed, choking and gagging, on the cracked concrete. Adrenaline was carrying me only so far. I really needed some Buck and Stampede!
"It was the kind thing to do!" Rampage gasped, choking as her eyes stared out into the rain over the bridge. "So much pain... so much suffering... I had to do it. Fluttershy couldn't end it! Celestia couldn't. But I could take their pain away." She glared at me in contempt, those glyphs twisting around the skull. "Can't you understand? They were in pain. Even when we took the nightmares away, they still suffered. So I gave them mercy! Wouldn't you do the same?"
Terminate Power: Y/N? A cold hand gripped my rotten heart. "No..." I said, but my denial skills had gotten rusty the last few days. "It's not the same! They were crazy and trapped. I would have had to leave them there!" I tried to slam her to the ground again, shut her up for good! I didn't want to think about it. Don't think about it!
But when she hit the roadway with the sound of another bone breaking, she arched a brow and grinned in that haughty, condescending manner. "Oh? Oh ho ho ho ho... so... you have given out mercy as well. Killed a helpless foal to spare them the pain? Pulled the plug?" I felt numb and stumbled, and she shoved me away from her. "Oh, so that was it? I've done that too."
"I had no choice!" I yelled, trying to convince through volume.
"'I had no choice!'" she mocked in return. "Isn't that how it always goes?"
"No, you didn't have to kill her!" I said desperately as we circled each other, my body suddenly feeling very tired and weak. "There was nothing I could have done!"
"Nothing? Really?" Her voice lowered even more. "Didn't stay with them? Didn't help them? Didn't find somepony who could? Didn't devote yourself to doing everything possible to save them?" Her questions slammed into me harder than her hooves as I backed away, towards the flaking word "Mercy" on the asphalt.
I'd thought my choice was lose/lose. I knew some of the children were crazy, but had I gone from pod to pod to find out for sure? Could some of them have been saved? I'd thought the Collegiate and Society wouldn't have helped, but had I asked them? Had I dragged Archibald and Splendid up there to find out for sure that there were no medics in the wasteland? Had I devoted my life to finding some way of saving those terrible innocents?
No. I'd pulled the plug, sung a little song, and then gone back to Megamart to collect some bottlecaps.
Rampage pounced, knocking me onto my back on the warning sign and lying atop me. "You're no different from me. Not at all. Sanctimonious, cruel, and vile. This world is too painful, too corrupted, too hateful! Mercy is the only decent thing we can give them!" she said to me softly, contemptuously, as her hooves crushed down with terrible power. "But don't worry, Blackjack. I know you're in pain. I know you're sick. I'll give you mercy, too."
"Rampage..." I gasped, my legs kicking and struggling against her, but I wasn't even sure I was really fighting her anymore. Whoever this mare atop me was, she wasn't the Reaper I'd known.
"You keep calling me Rampage..." she said softly as I gasped and choked, "That's not my name."
"Get off her, you cunt!" Glory screamed. The gray pegasus dove from above, and a stream of red beams burned smoking holes in the striped pony's body. The holes closed before my eyes, but Glory had the bit of her battle saddle clenched and poured on the fire. Finally, one red beam from her boxy pistols hit in just the right way, and the immolation reaction flashed along the striped pony. Her hooves burned my throat as she collapsed into a pile of ash atop me.
Something hard and heavy landed on my chest. I coughed and hacked as I looked at an egg of pink quartz wrapped in golden wire and glowing with an eerie pink-tinged light. A strange glyph in the egg's center, a twisting whirlpool that throbbed like a heart, glowed more brightly than the rest, and there were more lights within. I shoved it off and rolled onto my side as Glory landed next to me. "Easy, Blackjack. Easy. She's dead now. Breathe. She almost crushed your windpipe." From the worry on her face, I suspected that she wasn't sure about the 'almost' part.
"What the heck is this?" I asked softly as I held the egg aloft.
"I... I think it's some kind of rejuvenation talisman... It looks like..." Glory trailed off, rubbing her chin thoughtfully.
Suddenly, a pink cloud began to collect around the egg, forming worms of crimson that spread and curled into fresh veins and arteries. Tissue crawled over the surface and formed into a pinkish-red mass that began to beat. I watched as bones grew like weeds and muscle stretched to cover them. Finally, young pale skin covered in brilliant red stripes spread like moss over her frame.
The Rampage foal jerked, took a shallow breath, then another, then another. Her pink eyes opened and looked at me in utter misery. "I did it again, didn't I?" As I looked down at her, I wasn't sure I could answer. Slowly, the tiny foal curled up and wept. "I'm sorry," she whispered over and over again, but to whom I couldn't be sure. Her flank bore a dark mark, like a bruise.
"Sweet Celestia," Glory breathed in amazement.
"Rampage?" I asked softly as the two striped sticks wrapped in barbed wire appeared on her flank.
"I did it again, didn't I?" she said again as she sniffed. Then she looked at Thorn. A look of such pain crossed her young face that I couldn't help myself. I hugged the striped foal as she sobbed into my shoulder. "Not again... why did it have to happen again?" I'd been repulsed by what she'd done, and hurt by what she'd said, but at this second, all I knew was that she needed my help. And maybe a hug would calm everypony down enough for somepony to explain what was going on...
Glory watched her closely. "What happened, Rampage?"
"I... went away. I was bummed... I like being by water, so I thought I'd come out here till the funeral was done. And then Thorn was running... and she... she was crying... and... I wanted to give her a hug but... but I was afraid... and... I went away. Till just now..." Glory listened closely with a little frown. "I guess I got disintegrated... that's usually the only time I come out of it little like this."
"So... you're crazy," I said with a little half smile. "That should have been obvious."
"I guess."
Glory rubbed her chin in thought. "How long do these blackouts last?"
"It's not..." She sighed and smacked the sides of her head. "It's like I'm there and then I'm somewhere else. And it's... it's a bad place," she whispered as she trembled in my limbs.
"Then it's not crazy," Glory said with a small frown. Our eyes met and she gave a small apologetic smile. "Please remember, I'm drawing on one class of psychology and something I once read in a Canterlot Journal of Medicine, but in real psychological disorders, another personality doesn't just completely take over. That's not how it works." Rampage looked shocked.
"Huh... I always figured... I mean... are you sure I'm not cracked?" she asked with a confused, worried little look.
"You just regenerated from some talisman in your chest," Glory replied with a shake of her head. "I'm not sure of anything with you. But if it was something as simple as being crazy, then it would be consistent. Or you're one hell of an actress... but if you wanted to kill us... heck... kill all of Chapel... you could have. So I don't think that a part of your brain twigged." She sighed and frowned. "This is something else."
I saw others running up and took the opportunity to engage in another bout of rasping and coughing. I rubbed my bruised windpipe, hoping that maybe sometime soon the Wasteland would give at least my respiratory system a break.
"Blackjack!" P-21 shouted as he limped towards us. Sekashi, carrying a burlap sack, was hurrying up behind him. The zebra took one look at the three of us, sighed, and came straight to me. She dug into her bag and pulled out a Sparkle-Cola bottle filled with something that had the consistency of paint. I took a drink and felt the familiar sensation of a healing potion, though it tasted somewhat odd. Good, though! P-21 stopped so short at the sight of Thorn's crumpled body that he tripped and fell on his face. "Wha... Thorn..." He looked at the tiny Rampage. "What the fuck is going on?"
I slowly rose, spitting and hacking phlegm as the zebra brew did its work. I was glad I could still swallow, even if it hurt. Finally, I rasped, "Somepony killed Thorn. Not Rampage." My voice sounded worse than a ghoul's!
"What?" he said flatly and pointed at her broken body with a hoof. "Rampage... what?" He looked at the shaking foal with a look he'd reserved for me and the mine boss and thoughts of returning to 99. "What!" he shouted, his eyes glaring from one to the next in outrage.
"Something took control of her," I said firmly, the tiny Rampage looking at me as if she couldn't believe it any more than P-21 did. "She killed Thorn. Said she was giving her a mercy. She did it. Not Rampage." I looked at the slain foal, feeling empty and brittle again. "She tried to kill me next. Glory vaporized her. And then she regenerated into this."
P-21 clenched his head between his hooves. "Are you telling me we're travelling with a psychopath?" I gave a stiff nod, and his eyelid twitched as he threw his hooves in the air. "Oh, so her being crazy makes it all okay? That's so much better!"
"I don't think she's crazy," Glory replied. "Something else is behind this."
He glared at her, narrowing his eyes. "You're as bad as Blackjack."
Glory didn't back down. "I'm telling you that Rampage needs our help."
"Thorn needed our help!" he yelled at her.
"You're right!" I yelled at them both, feeling something tear in my throat and set off a coughing fit that silenced the argument. I gritted my teeth, trying to get the words out. "Thorn needed us, and I failed to protect her! Me! But we can't help Thorn now," I said as I staggered to my feet, coughing and hacking up snot. I nearly fell flat on my face, and was saved only by Glory propping me up. "It's my fault Thorn is dead. Mine." Be mad at me, P-21. Not Glory, not Rampage."
"No, it's not," P-21 said darkly, looking at the striped foal. "If she can't be killed, let's dump her back in Blueblood's well and blast it shut."
"That'd be fair," Rampage said softly. But the thought of burying anypony alive... even after what Rampage did... The cards shuffled again in my mind. I knew that at any second I was going to start having death ponies in my head and looking crazy.
"No. We're not going to do that." It would be like the clinic all over again. "Whatever killed Thorn was not Rampage. Understand, P-21?"
"I don't care who did it; the blood is on her hooves! What do you think the Crusaders will do when they find out? She was one of them, Blackjack!"
"I don't know, okay?" I rasped. "But you bury her alive, then bury me too! I'm just as guilty as she is! Or did you forget what I did at the clinic?"
He stared at me, his eyes widening. "It's not the same..."
"I know it's not, P-21! I know it's not. But..." I stared at the shaking Rampage... Arloste... I wanted to scream. I felt like I was the one going crazy now. "Just... trust me. Please," I begged him as I slumped against Glory.
He just looked at me. "You can't save everypony..." he said softly as I slid back to the ground.
"I know. But if I give up, then how can I save myself?" I asked as I hid my face in shame. He gave one last sigh.
"What do you need me to do, Blackjack?" I looked at him and gave him a grateful smile... at least, I hoped I was smiling.
"Tell Priest." I couldn't. I'd rather die than see his face when I confirmed that Arloste had been a murderer. He gave a stiff little nod, then limped away towards Chapel.
"You should have let him bury me," Rampage muttered.
"Stop!" I croaked at her, then took a slow breath. "Just stop. I don't know who or what you are, Rampage. I know what I saw and what you said. I don't know if you're crazy or not, but stop saying that we need to kill you. That won't bring Thorn back." I sighed as I looked the clouds, my gut clenching before I doubled up and hacked and coughed through my bruised throat. I spat out another wad, hoping that that stuff wasn't blood.
Then I looked at her curiously. "So... why are you little?" The look she gave me could have curdled Sparkle-Cola. I swallowed and chuckled, "Okay... you don't know. How long are you going to be like this?"
She gave a little shrug. "Days? Honestly, it's been almost five years since I was disintegrated."
Right. "Glory... can you take her back to the Star House, please?"
"Blackjack, you should come too." But I just gave her the easiest smile I could, and she sighed. Of course Glory was more worried about me. After a look, though, she finally turned to Rampage. "Come on, kid."
Rampage blinked and frowned at her. "I'm at least fifty years older than you."
Glory smiled. "I can't help it. You're just... so cute!"
"I am not cute! I'm one of the top Reapers in all of Hoofington, and I'm a crazy, immortal death machine!" Rampage said with a little stomp of her hooves. "That is not cute..." She glanced back at Thorn with one last mournful look. "Not cute at all."