when a soul mates

connecting

Dean wiped the wet from his tears off his cheeks and turned around to see Cas standing right in front of the rebar, the peak of it softly pinching his back. The time went on again.

Cas looked down on himself visibly confused and started to feel his torso, searching for a wound. Sam stood right beside Cas with his big-eyes look of bafflement.

Dean walked towards Cas, shoved him away from the rebar rather rough than gentle and pulled him into a close hug. He clung onto him with a firm grip. Cas hugged him back, but more softly, still perplexed about how he was still alive and not pierced by some metal.

Sam joined the hug on Cas' back side, and it made him laugh out loud for a short moment. Sam chuckled with him, having no clue about what happened but being incredibly grateful that it did.

"Close one," Sammy spoke up first and distanced from the hug. They all let go of each other and headed outside, Sam going first.

Cas went right after him, but Dean stopped him as he reached out for Cas' fingers and caught only his index finger. He held it in a loose fist, the touch was tender and sensitive, Dean has never done that before. Cas stood still and glanced from his finger to Deans flustered face, which he didn't manage to show to Cas, so he kept staring down at their hands.

"Thank you."

Cas' heart melted right into his legs, making them all wobbly. He has never in his life heard Dean talk so softly to him. He sounded like he was about to break any second.

"Of course, Dean," Cas responded quietly. He gave him a sincere little smile and waited for the moment Dean would let go of his finger. But it didn't happen. Dean moved his fingers away from Cas' finger and onto Cas's palm. The heat from that movement spreading through Cas' whole body, starting a tingle in his stomach.

Dean held his hand. Again.

Stop thinking.

It's fine.

Cas was his soulmate. Not in a platonic way. In the actual soul-exchanging way. He knew that they always had a special connection to each other, but he could have never imagined that. Cas saw his twisted soul in hell and decided to save him. He knew that in no other dimension the existing Castiels did that, they all turned away from him. But this one, this Castiel, Cas, he didn't. He was different because he was able to feel things. Because he saw Dean with all his flaws of the past, all his trauma, all his hurt and damage and all the things he did in hell and still saw Dean for who he was. It was an understanding not even Dean saw in himself before Cas pointed things out to him. Cas fell from heaven into hell for Dean, burned a piece of his soul into Dean and took the burden of the sins and corruption of Deans soul into his own.

And it made sense why Cas was so different from any other being. He chose Dean and he chose Deans soul for eternity. It made sense that their friendship deepened into a co-dependence, that their personal space was consequently disregarded and that living felt more intense and real when they were together. Everything made sense. The need for closeness, the constant missing, the sparks that crawl over Deans skin when they touch.

They weren't just best friends. They were soulmates. The highest connection you could have to another being.

Dean didn't know why he decided to hold Cas' hand again, he couldn't explain in it to himself in his stupid head, that tried to argue with him over everything when it came to feelings. But when he managed to shut this voice inside his head up and just let it happen, he found himself liking it. It was weird, because it was a man's hand, but it was also Cas and nothing about Cas felt weird to him.