Until We Meet Again

15.

Today started off well.

I woke up with my childhood crush in my bed, we had sex, had a shower together and I arrived to work one minute early.

The minute we opened, I got attacked by a hord of teenagers, looking for specific books to go tan with.

It took me a few minutes to recommend them some teen romance books, and when they all left and the library was calm enough, I went to retrieve my phone in my pocket but it wasn't there.

I searched everywhere, groaning and thinking I might've let it fall in my car.

I looked for it for thirty minutes before getting over the fact that I'd forgotten it on the nightstand.

Fuck. Me.

When I get home from work, I rush to my apartment to finally get my phone and text Nick.

I know he's probably overthinking and really stressed about the fact that I've been ignoring him all day.

Truth is, I tend to be really distracted and I forget stuff everywhere.

Even more so lately.

When I open the door, James is standing next to my mailbox, fiddling with a piece of clothing in his hands.

He barely notices me at first, raising his head just for the sake of it. But when he sees that I've showed up, he stand up straight and blinks a few times.

I haven't seen him since I've broken up with him ten days ago.

I don't know why James is here, but he's sure as hell been crying.

"James?" I ask in a soft voice, and he wipes his tears with the back of his hand.

"Charlie!" he says in a rush, picking his tote bag from the ground and clearing his throat.

He looks tired, like he's been tormented every single night since I last saw him.

It's probably the case, in his defence.

I broke up with him six days ago, and weirdly enough, I have never felt so free.

He seems to be the exact opposite, stuck with himself and his thoughts.

I was his first ever boyfriend, the one he felt comfortable enough to be official with.

Even though I feel good about the break up, I quickly notice that there's also this other feeling ruining it for me.

Guilt.

I can't believe I've barely waited a week before running back into Nick's arms.

It really doesn't look like something I would normally do, but to be fair, it's really been a while since I've acted like myself.

Nick turned everything upside down the moment I bumped into him again.

I never intended to use James as a rebound, I genuinely thought I was ready to love someone else than that blonde guy who's been haunting my mind every second of every day.

At first I pushed him away, telling him I was clearly still crying over my ex. But then he was just so sweet, and my heart felt so empty, that I let him in.

As of right now, I'm pretty sure I shouldn't have.

Nick's everywhere I go, every single of my experience involves him, and whenever someone says something he could have said, it takes months to forget about him again.

I don't remember what life was like before meeting him.

And if I'm honest, it's something I don't want to remember.