The happy and the depressed (lashton)

12~ Date

12~ Date

Dedication: All of you for making you wait so long! (Over a damn year)

Vote/comment if you've seen or are just watching the video at the top/side and cried!!

HOLY CRAP! 25k?!?!?! I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!!!

Update: I started writing this when this had 25 thousand and now it has freAKIN 44 THOUSAND!! I'm over the moon happy and I really don't deserve you guys <3.

So I am really sorry, but I have had major writers block with everything, plus health and mental problems since like November (of two years ago now when I started this, damn).

*There's an author's note at the end that's long and explains some of where i'm going with this, you can read it if you want*

Okay anyway... enjoy :)

______________________

Ashton's POV

It's Friday morning and Luke and I are sitting in science. The teacher was going on and on about something having to do with rocks. 

"This is really boring,'' Luke whispered to me.  I nodded his sleepily and layed my head on the desk. 

"Late night?'' he asked.

No, I wanted to say. Even though I went to sleep at a decent hour and took sleeping pills, it was still restless. I felt like I haven't slept in days.

"We can cancel tonight.''

''No.'' I blushed when a few people turned and looked at us. Thankfully the teacher didn't hear.

''No, I'm okay I just need to stop hearing about rocks,'' I rolled my eyes. As Luke laughed the bell rang. "Well time for an even more exciting lesson in math.''

  Luke's POV

I walked with Ashton to his math class and then walked a few doors down to mine. When I got there Michael was sitting with his legs on Calum's lap.

''Wow you look comfortable,'' I raised my eyebrows at the two of them.

"Yes very,'' Calum answered at the same time michael said ''Eh."

I shook my head at them and sat at my desk. 

*Time skip*

''Are you ready to go now or do you want to pick me up later?'' It was the end of the day and we were standing by my locker. 

"We can go now if that's okay. I just have to stop by my place and get something.'' Ashton nodded. 

We started walking in a comfortable silence in the direction of my house, our hand swinging between us. "So where are we even going?'' Ashton broke the silence.

''To a place.'' 

''I'm actually going to hit you,'' he threatened.

''It's outdoors and only a few minutes away so we can walk. That's all I'm telling you,'' I smiled at him. He squinted at me but didn't ask anymore questions. 

When we got to my house I told Ashton to stay outside while I run in and get the basket to avoid any questions from anyone who might be home. 

''Where are you taking that?'' 

Said questions. 

I looked over at my mom, who was coming in the kitchen from the garage.

"How come you aren't at work?'' I asked back.

''My shift ended early. Now, where are you taking that?''

"I'm going out with a friend from school,'' I said while walking towards the door. "I'll be back late, but not too late, yes I'll be okay, I won't do anything stupid, love you,''I yelled and ran down my driveway to the giggling curly haired boy. "Why are you laughing?''

"You just totally shot down your mum, I heard the whole thing."

''Oops?'' We laughed and started walking in the direction of the  lake.

We walked in silence until we got to the clearing. There was a small clearing about 30 feet from the lake, and a small cliff just off to the right. The setting sun sparkled on the water, making it look a golden yellow. I looked over at Ashton to take in his reaction. ''This is amazing how did you find this?"

"I was walking around the other day, and I stumbled across it,'' I shrugged. ''The water reminds me of your eyes."

Ashton blushed and looked out at the lake. We set up the blanket and the food and just started talking about everything. Before we knew it, it was 7:00, and the stars were out. 

"Hey,''I got Ashton's attention as stargazed. He turned on his side and looked at me.

"I had a really good time tonight, and I would really like to do something, but I have to ask something first.'' Ashton looked nervous, but also like he expected this topic to come up.

''Why?'' I ask a long overdue question.

He didn't answer. He looked back up at the stars and we sat in silence. I just assumed my question was lost when he broke the silence.

''Have you ever passed someone on the street, and wondered what there life was like? Or how famous people are always sad? I play a sport, I have decent grades, I'm even well off. But that's all a lie. Everyone puts up an act in public because they don't want you to know what's actually going on inside.''  Ashton continued to look up at the stars, but I just looked over at Ashton. I don't know what he's going through, but I am willing to help in through it.

I sat up, Ashton following. "I don't know exactly what your going through, as I have never gone through it, but I am willing to help you, and be here for you when ever you need me,'' I looked the shorter boy straight in the eye. His eyes are really very pretty.

"You said you wanted to try something before. What was it?''Ashton whispered. I looked him in the eyes, silently asking for extra reassurance.

Ashton's POV

We both leaned in, our lips meeting in the middle. I didn't feel fireworks like in all the books, but I felt something. I felt an immediate warmth come over me.

I felt safe.

  ______________________ 

Whoa omg I actually wrote.

 Okay, so. I am going to continue this, but I am not going to be including any self harm scenes, maybe not even any abuse scenes, like the chapters before. 

As for the explication for where I've been (if anyone cares)

I was sick for a while, around the time of the last time i updated, plus i had not fully realized the extent of my declining mental health. So I had to deal with that. 

That was fun. Then I had a few school issues  but I'm alright now, school is sorted, i'm starting college early (wow) and i'm in an ok place mentally. 

So like i said earlier, i will be continuing this, it probably just wont be as sad. 

And if anyone ever needs to talk about anything, message me because i will be an ear (a screen?) that will listen.

Anyyywayyy thank for reading 

love ya :)