Begin Again

Chapter 11

Yibo took the leather jacket off Zhan as soon as they entered his apartment. They both stood in the entryway not saying a single word and Zhan began to feel uncomfortable entering the apartment. Yibo closed the front door and then quickly wrapped his arms around Zhan. Zhan hesitated at first, but he left himself be hugged.

Yibo's hug showed how upset he was. He felt angry, annoyed, and sad about how Xuan treated Zhan. His breathing was heavy, and his hands were shaking, but with that hug, he let Zhan know that he would be there for him no matter what.

Yibo pulled away and gently touched Zhan's face. "The swelling on your face seems to be going down and the cut on your lip closed up," he gently caressed the red mark on his cheek and then the small mole below his lip. "Did he hurt you anywhere else?"

Zhan shook his head. There was a long pause as both men stood in the entryway of Yibo's apartment. The only thing that could be heard was a clock ticking somewhere in the home.

Yibo went to his big kitchen and got an ice pack from the freezer. He came over to Zhan and gently placed it on Zhan's swollen cheek, holding it there gently. Yibo looked into Zhan's eyes with love and care. Zhan couldn't bring himself to look back and just stared at the floor. He felt really stupid. He defended his husband from Yibo so many times, but now he realized that Yibo was right all along. Tears started to fill Zhan's eyes, and Yibo pulled him close, hugging him tightly while patting his back. Zhan silently cried in Yibo's arms, feeling safe and comforted.

Yibo continued to comfort Zhan until his tears stopped flowing. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked softly. Zhan looked up at Yibo, his eyes still teary. Yibo gently brushed away the tears with his thumbs. Zhan shook his head, indicating he didn't want to discuss it. Then, with a serious gaze, Zhan focused on Yibo's lips and suddenly leaned in, planting an unexpected kiss on them. Yibo was taken aback, but he allowed the kiss to happen. This was a moment he had always dreamed of, secretly hoping that Zhan would be the one to make the first move.

Zhan guided him firmly to the nearby couch and gently pushed him down. Their kisses were passionate and intense, fueled by Zhan's strong emotions. In the midst of their heated exchange, Zhan took off his shirt, revealing his bare chest. Their kisses grew even more intense, but Yibo noticed something concerning – bruises covering Zhan's arms, wrists, and back. Worried, Yibo pulled away. "Don't stop, please, bobo..," Zhan pleaded, trying to kiss him again, but Yibo stopped him. 

"Look at your arms and body," he said, his voice filled with concern. Zhan turned to see his arms, revealing painful red and purple marks around his biceps and wrists.

Zhan's tears started flowing again, causing him to hastily move away from Yibo and put his shirt back on. His behavior became frantic, as if he was experiencing a meltdown. His sobs grew more intense, and he started breathing rapidly, struggling to catch his breath. He was having an anxiety attack.

Yibo held Zhan in his arms, speaking calmly to him. "Take deep breaths, Zhan-ge. Everything will be fine. Just focus on your breathing, please." Zhan clung tightly to Yibo, struggling to take deep breaths as fear gripped him. Yibo guided him to the bedroom, carefully helping him onto the bed. He placed a few pillows beneath Zhan's head and offered him some water. "Zhan-ge... just breathe," he urged, his voice filled with compassion and worry.

Zhan gradually calmed his breathing, finding a sense of relief. Yibo sat at the edge of the bed, gently rubbing Zhan's shoulder and hair, hoping to offer comfort. Eventually, Zhan's breathing steadied once again. Yibo understood that Zhan didn't want to talk about it, but he reassured him, saying, "If you need anything, just let me know." He started to get up, planning to turn off the light and let Zhan get some rest. However, before he could leave, Zhan reached out and tightly grasped Yibo's wrists. "Please don't go... don't leave me. I'm sorry for what happened earlier. I didn't mean to use you like that."