misunderstanding || L.S

6. you can let it go

Harry's pov

i was minding my own business when i got a text

1 message from li low 👨🏻‍🦲
h i have an art class but i'm gonna very bored and alone come with please ☺️🙏

me
no. i'm not an art guy you know this

1 message from li low 👨🏻‍🦲
PLEASE. I WILL KILL MYSELF

with that he sends a picture of him with a drawing of a gun next to his head

me
fine you guilt tripping goblin. i'll be there 🖕🖕

i put on whatever i can find in my closet me and liam have been friends since i could last remember we're best friends dorm mates husband and wife mother and son all that good shit  he's been with me since day 1 honestly i don't remember a time without him he's been my rock but he is a cunt because i don't want i to be in a room with some artsy assholes who think they all have a gift by splattering paint on a canvas

i walk to liam's classroom i know where it is because i used to walk with him there all the time i walk in and see him. louis. he looks so focused on his painting his fingers gently hold the brush as he swipes the colors on there his hair is perfectly messy. his lips slightly parted.

"haz you came!" liam exclaims and i roll my eyes and the teacher directs me to the easel right next to louis and liam i go to sit and look over at what louis is drawing.

it's a swing with a beautiful lake infront of it. it brings a distance memory back but i can't quite put my finger on it i look over to liam who's drawing some bullshit i don't know

"so what are you guys drawing is it like a creative drawing or an assignment of some sort" im asking because i'm curious to why louis drew this i don't care what liam draws

"it's an assignment draw something that seems insignificant but it impacted your life." liam says and i look at louis "we have to do a presentation and i'm nervous as fuck that's why i needed you here." just then louis raises his hand

"i'm ready professor clark." brave boy going first. i like that. he takes his painting and puts it on the main easel infront of the whole class as he sets it up liam whispers in my ear "i hate that stuck up fuck he probably will have some fake story to gain a sympathy A." i frown

"stop being a dick he's about to speak." everyone suddenly stops painting and looks to louis who clears his throat.

"this painting is called guilty. when i was younger i used to volunteer at the hospital my mother used to work at. i met this boy we have gotten close in the span of 5 minutes. i was 5 so that was like normal. he was my whole world. i dreamed of him i used to go to sleep thinking about what we would talk about the next day. i loved him with all of me. something happened one of the days we were hanging out. he was telling me about his favorite toy a barbie he wanted to get then he stopped talking he laid down put his hand on his chest and started breathing slowly i asked if he was okay and he blanked he look at me with no expression he simply said 'i'm gonna die soon.' it was the first time i've ever felt the feeling of hopelessness i knew i couldn't do anything to fix it or help him i gave him hope. hope i didn't even have in me. i told him about a swing i had near my house. it was this exact swing i promised him we'd play on that swing together once he got out i hugged him to sleep everyday i was with him. i went to school came back to the hospital cuddled played and talked. one day i came back from school and he was gone. i never wish that feeling on anyone i never want to experience that type of pain ever again i was so young but i remember the feeling like it was yesterday. i feel guilty i didn't spend the night with him i feel guilty i didn't try to help him i feel guilty that every breathe i take is mine and not his i feel guilty that i'm the one here and he's not i would've given him my entire world if i knew he would slip away from me as fast as he came. i feel guilty i didn't fight. he was my everything. such a brief moment in my life. such a brief period of time but he meant everything to me. he means everything to me i've gotten tattoos for him everything i do is for him. everything " he finishes he sniffles wiping his tears the class claps and the teacher gives him a hug as he walks back

"aw look there he goes sob sob oh poor louis" i hit his arm roughly. "don't be a dick this clearly is hurting him." liam rolls his eyes "oh for fucks sake not you too." i ignore liam as i walk over to louis

"that was so powerful. i'm so proud of you. that must've been really hard for you to talk about especially with so many people but it's not your fault louis. his passing isn't your fault." i kiss his head and he smiles "you kissed my head." he says

"what is it like a big comfort thing for you?" i joke and he nods "actually yes. i remember that friend used to kiss my head a lot his name was also harry which is why i like you so much" he smiles and i smile "i'm sure harry was lovely"

he sighs "you're friends with liam right?" he asks and i nod. "well i don't know whats his problem with me. but please tell him to control his face please i felt kind of horrible by the way he was looking at me the whole time i was talking this is a very personal subject to me and the way he looks at me was just plain hurtful. and when he whispered to you after that was not cool dude." he grabs his painting and leaves and i look at liam i am absolutely fucking fuming

"finish your shit and come back to our dorm i'm fucking livid with you." i say and walk out

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