An Unexpected Surprise

Chapter 10

Cal's POV

I stay by Mare's side all night and into the morning, but to my dismay, there are no changes. She stays unconscious, with no movements other than the slight rise and fall of her stomach every time she lets out a shallow breath.

I just can't bring myself to leave her, not when I know that she is injured and in pain, and that it is all my fault. Besides, who knows if there are still some Lakelander soldiers hiding out in the castle grounds that haven't been found yet? Mare remains very much in danger, and I have to be here to make sure she stays safe. And perhaps I need to be here to assuage some of my guilt for not finding her sooner, for not trying harder to convince her to stay behind and not fight in the battle, for not recognizing when she was lying to me, for not realizing that the Lakelanders were after her sooner. But most importantly, I have to be here to hold her when she wakes up, to see with my own eyes that she is okay, to feel her body against mine, to hear her sweet voice that I will never get sick of, and to find out if our child is still alive.

Eventually, the morning fades into the early afternoon and Mare still shows no signs of waking. I, however, am on the verge of exhaustion. I can't remember the last time I slept or the last time I ate. I've been too worried about Mare to think about those things. Usually, I would rely on the adrenaline of battle or planning to keep me awake and alert, but all of these emotions have taken their toll, and I find myself fighting the urge to doze off. I look down at my clothes and, citing the Silver stains, realize that I haven't even gotten my own wounds from the battle healed. But that doesn't matter. My injuries are minor compared to Mare's, compared to how my heart is aching.

I sit beside Mare's bed in a dazed state. I don't even notice Uncle Julian walk in until he is standing right next to me.

"How's she doing?" he asks, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I recognize Julian by his voice, so I don't bother to turn around to see who it is.

"Hard to say. Just waiting for her to wake up now." I reply.

"And how are you doing, Cal?"

I scoff and turn my gaze back to my hands and begin to play with my flame maker bracelets. "Never better," I reply darkly, trying to avoid the conversation.

"You know you don't have to pretend around me, Cal," Julian continues, coming around to the side of my chair so that he can see me better. "You can tell me anything."

I'm silent for a moment, contemplating whether or not I should tell Julian about what has been eating away at my mind for the past several hours. I'm not even sure if I want to face all of those emotions again. But this is Uncle Julian, he will understand.

"It's all my fault," I whisper, my voice soft and small.

Julian looks at me confused. "What are you talking about, Cal? Whatever you think you did, I'm sure it's not your fault that Mare got hurt."

"But it is," I explain. "She wasn't supposed to be here. I am the one that convinced her to come, I am the one who didn't even see the signs that were right in front of me telling me that the Lakelanders were after her. I'm the reason that the Lakelanders were able to find her."

Julian remains silent at my side, letting me continue.

"I'm her husband," I say after a pause, "it's my job to protect her, and I failed." My voice cracks, but no tears fall. I have no more tears left to cry.

Uncle Julian is quiet for a moment, before sighing and turning my chair, crouching down to put both his hands on my shoulders.

"Cal, look at me." He says in a gentle tone.