Letters, Short Stories, and Poetry

Smiling

I hope you never see this.... I hope you never see me... Sure you look at me, maybe more often than I notice, but you never really see me. Looking and seeing are two different things. You look and you think I'm smiling, but really it's all just a facade. Faked or forced, sometimes both. Almost all the time, they are both. What you don't understand is that I will never be special enough to be noticed, and, under the very slim chance you do notice me, I will be to plain to hold your attentions. You see, I'm just a big cluster of mediocre traits and talents. I'm not pretty, nor am I ugly. I'm not smart, nor am I stupid. I'm not interesting, nor am I completely devoid of personality or character. I am simple to a level of impossibility. Yet, the one thing that I am passionate about, the one thing that makes me smile when I am laying in bed, when it's so late even the stars are sleeping, that one thing is the luxury I could never have. That one thing... is YOU. Isn't it funny how love works? On one side it can be so passionate, so devoted, so true, while the other side feels nothing but disgust, disdain, and loathing. I suppose it should be impossible to smile at the one who has caused you so much pain and misery, but I smile at you all the same. I know you DONT love me. That's okay. I didn't expect you would anyway. Love is something you have to earn, something that is pure, something that is elegant, and something that is chaotic all at once. To me, that's the only kind of the love there is. That... Is true LOVE. You don't care about me... That's fine... I've lived like this for awhile now. The only difference is, I accept who I am and how you feel now. I love you. I love you and there is not a single thing you can do to change that one significant, beautiful, and honest part about ME. Because... In the end... That's who I am...