he's... my doll (Bucky Barnes/FTM reader)

prologue

I wake - no, I regain control. I regain control in a warehouse. I've never seen it before. Or have I? I don't have any memories from before... before... before I got captured.

I remember it clear as day. I was still reeling from Bucky's death.

"Agent Stark," Peggy says sternly, snapping her fingers in my face. "I know you're going through a tough time, but Hydra's not going to take itself down."

I wipe tears from my eyes, glad I hadn't worn mascara today. Didn't have time, anyway. "Yes, right. Apologies, ma'am."

She shakes her head. "Don't apologize. Just brush it off. We've got a lot of work ahead of us."

I nod, listening intently as Steve explains the plan.

Of course, we weren't part of the main plan. I was meant to flirt with the security guard as a distraction.

"You've got hope in your eyes, girl," he laughs out in German. "Makes this all the more difficult."

That's where I lose... myself.

"Hey," an older man gruffs out in English. He has an eye patch and he's wearing a long, black coat. "You okay?"

I squint at him, trying to figure out his motives. He can't possibly want to know if I'm okay. Not really.

When did I get this negative? When did I start assuming the worst of everyone?

I look down at myself. Everything seems fine, except that my fingertips are glowing green.

"When did this happen?" I ask the strange man.

"Long story. Let's get you somewhere safe."

That somewhere safe turns out to be another strange man's home in the woods. His name is Clint, or so he says. He has two children, Lila and Cooper and a pregnant wife, Laura. They accept me into their home quickly, despite the screaming late in the night and the constant exhaustion embedded into my features.

That's where I meet the rest of the Avengers a few months later. The first to walk in is, unfortunately, a familiar face.

"Steve?" I whisper.

"Who's this?" asks the man next to him. He's shorter. He sports a goatee, and there's a device glowing blue under his shirt.

"An old friend," Steve mutters.

I hastily introduce myself to the others before going out and sitting on the porch steps.

Steve's alive. Steve's alive? It's 2015. Every day, my knowledge of... everything... gets skewed.

He rushes out, sitting next to me with a folder. "Did they catch you up to speed? At all?"

I take a deep breath. "You're alive. You know what year it is, right?"

"I'll take that as a no. Look..."

"Tony... His last name is Stark."

"He's Howard's son."

"So... I have a nephew that's the same age, if not older, than me. In terms of preservation or whatever. And you're exactly as you were the last time I saw you in... what, 1942? It's 2015."

"Yes. That's all true."

I take another deep breath, closing my eyes. "Did you know I was alive?"

He avoids my eyes, clearing his throat. "I did. Fury told me not to say anything."

"Fury... The guy with an eye patch."

"That's the one."

"He wanted to cut me off from my old life?"

"No, he wanted you to adjust."

I close my eyes again. "And did you know about my abilities?"

"What abilities?"

"I... It's difficult to explain."

"Explain it the best you can."

That's Steve. Always the understanding one.

"I have these... These green beams? They float from my hands, and I can use them to rework people's memories. I still don't know the extent of them, but I'm not even sure I want to."

He's the one to take a deep breath this time. "That's... that's good to know."