he's... my doll (Bucky Barnes/FTM reader)

chapter four

(Bucky POV)

While Sam and I were talking, Cass and AJ convinced Y/N to play cars with them. He slowly adjusts to reach the coffee table better. His eyes screw shut for a second and I can see the pain on his face.

"You good?" I ask from the other side of the room.

"Yep, fine," he assures me. I don't believe him, but it's not my judgement to make.

Sam went outside to grab something from his car, so Y/N and I are alone with Cass and AJ for a few minutes.

I watch the three of them play with little cars, Alpine curled up in Y/N's lap. It seems so natural. Alpine never acclimates to new people this quickly. Maybe she knows I trust him? But she hasn't even gotten that close to Sam. I don't know. I'm probably jumping to conclusions.

Fuck he is hot.

A knock at the door startles me. It's just Sam.

"Got you some resources." He hands me a stack of three books.

Two are about understanding sexuality and one is about gender. I open one about sexuality first, 'cause I'm not even entirely sure what that means.

When I look up from the book, Sam, Cass, and AJ are all huddled around Y/N.

Grinning, Y/N asks, "Did Bucky ever tell you about the frog soup story?"

"Woah, hey," I interrupt. "Let's not-"

"What? Don't want me to tell them about the frog?"

"No, actually, I don't."

"Why not?"

"Because. It's embarrassing."

"Oh, now I have to know," Sam says decidedly.

I sigh. "Fine. But no laughing, alright? That means you, Sam."

"I make no promises."

"Ma," I groan, hiding my face in my hands, "do you gotta tell her that story?"

D/N giggles, and my mother smacks my arm lightly with a big grin on her face. "Y'know, Jamie, she's your fiancee. You can't keep it from her forever."

"I know, but-"

"No buts," she asserts before continuing the story. "So then he walks into the kitchen with a frog in his hands. I scream so loud the neighbors probably heard."

"I don't have a habit of bringing random animals in the house. Anymore."

"That's the key word, son. Anymore. He shows me the frog all proud, and I go, 'that's great, son.' Before I can tell him to take it back outside, it jumps into the pot of boiling water, and dinner is ruined."

"Yeah, Dad was so mad..." I recall, chuckling softly.

"I had to pick up some of those - what were they called?"

"Mr. Goodbars."

"Right, right. I picked up a few of those so we could have something for dinner."

"Of course, Becca and I didn't mind at all."

D/N and I make eye contact on opposite ends of the couch while my mother goes on a tangent about frogs. She must notice, because she makes an excuse to leave.

"So," D/N starts as we close the gap between us, "you like frogs?"

-

"Buck, you alright?" Y/N asks, pulling me back to my senses.

"Yeah. Just... just thinking."

She- he came to my apartment around midnight Friday night. It's now Monday morning. We're eating breakfast at a diner about a block away because I didn't feel like cooking and Y/N is still incapacitated by her- his injuries. He almost fell down the stairs at the first step, so I had to carry him to the end of the staircase.

"Sorry if I'm overstaying my welcome," he mutters sheepishly.

I shake my head, waving my hand in an attempt to wave away the thought. "Hey, you're fine. I'd much rather have you for too long than not at all."

He stays silent for a few beats. Fuck. Did I come on too strong? That was... kind of intimidating. It would be for me. Well, not from him. But anyone else-

"Thank you. And I'm- I'm sorry I didn't try to see you before. I just didn't... I didn't know... I didn't know what I'd say."

"Yeah, I wouldn't either."

That's the end of the conversation.

I pay the bill despite much protesting from Y/N.

"Buck, you've already done so much."

"I really can cover it."

"I want to repay you-"

"Y/N," I begin in a hushed tone. "I thought I would never see you again. I just want to- I want to show you that I care. Please."

He's silent again. I definitely came on too strong this time.

"Okay. But I'm paying next time."

"Fine by me, doll."

Fuck fuck fuck. Fuck I didn't mean to say that. Oh God I'm definitely scaring him off. And I can't even tell if I really still love him.

I'm still panicking as I swipe my card through the machine and sign the receipt, but I keep my face calm and confident until we get outside the diner.

"Y/N, I am so sorry-"

He shushes me, holding my face in one of his hands as he looks up at my eyes.

"It's okay, sugar. I don't mind."

Holy shit. Oh, my God. That is the hottest thing I've heard in... in years. I would probably take his clothes off right now if we weren't in public-

"Can I kiss you?"

My breath hitches.

"Um, yeah."

"You sure?"

"Positive." The word comes out as sort of a strangled moan, and I can feel a flush reach my face.

He laughs softly, wrapping his arms around my neck as he kisses me carefully.

It's everything I've dreamed about. It's fireworks and tears and magic and frantic and safe. Something I only feel so often. His hands are in my hair and mine are on his waist and it's intimate in every way I can think of.

When I pull away, I can't look away from him.

"We should probably head back," he says, still looking in my eyes.

"Right. Yeah."