"you know, we aren't going to get that far if you don't talk." dr.harvell spoke softly.
her office, was pretty. grey walls, white desk with a coffee table to match. the lilac sofas bringing the pop of color the room needed.
"sorry, what did you ask again?" may questioned watching her therapist
"i asked how you and michael have been. I know it's been a little rough for you two since.."
"oh yea, no no. uh, well." may bit her lip trying to convey the words that just didn't seem to correctly form into an actual thought. "we've been good. we had a spa night last night, it was actually very relaxing and gave - or at least i thought, gave us a breather. he's back to working normally and i plan on getting back, it just gets hard ya know?"
"yes, i'm aware. may, we've been at this for a while now and i've always been raw with you. i know it takes time to come back from what you've been through, and i know things aren't going to bounce right back to how they were. i need you to try every day, even if you don't want to, to accomplish something. anything, really. you owe yourself that. you owe aeryn that as well."
"i know, it's just." may was choking on the tears she was trying so hard to hold back. "i feel like a failure sometimes. like i don't deserve to have that happiness or room to heal. i've been the backbone all the time, i've never got the space to lay my emotions out. Not even when my auntie died. it's like i'm trying to grieve and i get so in my head that I forget Michael lost someone too."
By the end of the session May was more emotional than she's been in awhile. Gathering herself in the car, she drove to the store to grab some things and went on her way.
"Hey May, haven't seen you around in awhile. How's it going?" Todd, the security asked
"I'm here." May said with a chuckle. "Is Michael in his office?"
"Yep, just got back in."
"Good, is it cool if I come back?" she asked, Todd nodding before buzzing her in.
The hallway was quiet, the faint sound of some Missy Elliot song playing on the overhead. May squinted because why the hell were they playing Missy? Chuckling, she turned the corner and reached the office. Peaking through, she seen Michael with his feet kicked up and twizzler hanging out his mouth.
"I hope you ate lunch before you put that nasty ass candy in your mouth."
May! Baby, what are you doing here?" he smiled, getting up to embrace her tightly.
"Left therapy," she trailed and he looked. "But! I felt good after this session and wanted to see if we could have lunch together?"
"Of course! Let me move this stuff off the chair."
Watching him make room for her sent her to how he helped after everything. He was a great husband, but he was sure one hell of a dad before baby girl left this earth. They sat and ate, him catching her up on his day. Her saying that she ordered more things for the house and was going to email her supervisor about a date to return back to work.
"Michael, can we get sentimental for a bit?"
"May,"
"No, I have to say it. I was just being nice and asked." she smirked
"Go head then."
"I'm sorry. Sorry because we don't have our baby girl but sorry that I've been so wrapped up in my own mind that I've been neglecting yours. I wasn't the only one who lost someone."
"May-"
"I know it wasn't either of our faults and we've never blamed one another but I know it hurts me as much as it hurts you. Whatever you need, baby, I'm here. I know we all grieve differently but I was being a bit selfish with mine. You're so worried about me being afloat that I didn't realize that you were drowning right beside me."
"I love you so much." he sighed "I was, I am and we can manage together. Can I tell you a secret?" May nodded "I've been seeing the therapist too."
"Seriously?!"
"I had a really bad breakdown last month and if I wanted to be here with you and not leave you alone I needed to. I know it's a touchy subject but along the way, I realized that I couldn't find the help from you so I went and got what i needed."
"I love you. I am so fucking sorry Michael. So, so sorry."
After their tears fell and the silence did its part, the two sat and had a real meal together for the first time in what felt like years. They couldn't leave one another. They couldn't hide behind their pain and grief. They were going to do what they needed. For their unity. For themselves and for lil mama. Everything, as always going to be for her - here or not.
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damn, imma just leave this here y'all lmao. I posted this back in 2019, got a man broke up with him. thought i was going to finish this - clearly i didn't. got a new man, was depressed. then had a baby last year lmfao. my life has been a time!!! i wan't to get back into writing but they'll definitely be short stories like 'Truth Hurts' (go read that pls n thank you. It's Michael B too.)
anywho that's all i had to say love yall xx
