Chapter 3:
My religion tells us to be truthful to all
Seek the truth
Attempt to repel all evil.
Reject occasions to do wrong.
But I can’t anymore.
For my faith is almost dead.
Like my spirit
I don’t like lies.
I don’t like being led on.
Believing one story while another is going on.
For it’s wrong.
To be deceitful.
It hurts when you’ve been lead on.
It burns a hole in your heart.
Never to be filled again.
But to be shattered into tiny pieces.
The fact Eli had led me on believing I had a chance with him; then ripping out my heart later my heart ache. Having it crushed into a million pieces then run over with Bullfrog’s car; made me feel empty. That, I’ll never be whole again; I’ll just be a shell with nothing in it.
"Clare, did you, really have a crush on Eli?" Adam asked and I nodded. No matter how hurt I am, I feel as if I’ll always have a crush on him. “He’s a bad guy Clare. He’s just trying to impress Julia, and he doesn’t care how he does it.” Adam said coldly, his icy blue eyes staring menacingly at the school.
Crunch. Shatter. Explosions. That was exactly what my heart did right now. After hearing from Adam that it wasn’t a dare like Eli had said; I felt even worse. I was just a tool to impress Julia Simms, the most popular and snobbiest girl in school.
She’s also the most beautiful girl; with her long raven black hair, and big brown eyes.
What did Eli see in her? She’s a really mean person, like a person that kicks puppies. She’s a bully---I’ve had a few instances were she and I didn’t get along. She’s spoiled little brat that thinks she can get whatever she wants, when the truth is, life isn’t about getting what you want.
I simply don’t understand what could he possibly see in her that’s truly positive. It would have to outweigh every negative thing I mentioned for her to be a decent person.
A single hot tear rolled down my face. You’re a stupid fool Clare Edwards, I spat at myself internally. Why would I go up against the popular, and beautiful Julia Simms for Eli’s heart? Of all people I could fall for it’s Adam’s jerk of a brother; stupid Elijah Goldsworthy. Why even bother with him? Like Adam said, he’s only looking to impress Julia. That’s why he used you as a pawn. I continued insulting myself feeling the tears come down faster.
“I’m stupid,” I said aloud. “Stupid for thinking there’s ever any kind of life out there for me. I’ll be Ginger for the rest of my life” I sobbed falling off the swing and onto the mulch.
“Clare, you’re not stupid---”
“Then why is this happening to me? Answer that Adam...”
Revenge is the evil of the heart.
It’s a way to express hatred.
With violence and unnecessary pranks.
It shows hurt.
It’ll never go away with revenge.
It only diminishes it.
Never wanting to go away.
We’ll always seek revenge.
For we don’t like being hurt.
We don’t like seeing others hurt.
So we stand up for them.
The revenge spreads like diseases.
Like flames on a birthday candles.
One candle lighting another will no longer exist after a certain point.
It’ll just be a roaring wildfire.
Never burning out.
