The Red String of Fate

13. "You'll Adjust, Don't Worry"

"Ryun-gu, what is the subject's percentage looking like now?" "45%" Ryeon nodded her head and pushed her chair out from under her desk and stood up to leave her office. "Since the subject seems to be better, go ahead and clock out. Good job today."

Ryungu habitually replied with a yes but quickly shot his head up as he remembered something had been bothering him since that night. "Senior,...are you doing okay?" Ryeon, who was about to reach the knob to leave turned her head to look at Ryungu in confusion.

She stared at him for a quick moment and saw how hesitant he was to explain any further and quickly understood what he meant by those words. "Ryungu, I'm fine. There's nothing to be worried about."

Ryungu was going to refute her claim. He saw how she would space out when she was on her lunch break and seem so lost in her thoughts to the point of headaches, how she would go on late- night walks more often and sit down on a bench and let tears form in her eyes but never fall. She was always reserved and private but now she was almost out of reach, no matter how close he was to her.

"...okay?" Ryungu solemnly bowed his head and forced his lips into a straight line. Ryeon stayed there for a few moments then opened the door behind her, leaving Ryungu by himself. She let out a sigh of exhaustion and made her way to her chamber.

As Ryeon walked down the hallway of her office building, past the main lobby of Jumadeung, there were all types of people around. Many were laughing, some smiling, and some were just standing still, waiting to be on call for any subject that needed their assistance. Despite everything, she saw that they had one thing in common; They were not alone. On their own, yes, as everyone else but alone, that, they were not.

Ryeon wasn't someone who relished in her misery but on the rare occasion that she did, it had to be something so heartbreaking and painful for her to neglect her nature of passiveness. But in that moment as she walked to her room, she felt a deep loneliness that moved her very being. Seeing how she was not only on her own but also alone... that hurt. Very much. Feeling embarrassed by the feeling that she felt was a burden, she quickly walked to her room.

As she shut the door behind her, she took a couple of deep breaths and walked into her bathroom. She stripped herself of all clothing and stepped underneath the steaming water that shot from the shower head. Most nights, Ryeon would never consciously admit to herself that she missed him but something was different that night.

Throughout the days she would find herself alone with nothing but the silence around her and she would feel the weight of her heart in her chest. At first, she was scared of the sensation that felt so real but it was probably more psychological than physical. But over time, she became comforted by that sensation, painful, yes but it was still a feeling, which was something she hadn't felt in a while.

As she felt that sudden drop in her chest, she quickly turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. As she wrapped the hanging towel around her body, she was face to face with her reflection which was masked with a layer of vapor. She reached towards the mirror and wiped away where her face could be seen. Staring at herself, she watched as her chest rose and fell continuously, secretly wishing that any movement surrounding her chest would just slow down. Just for a second.

After walking away from the mirror with another sigh, she got dressed and headed to the kitchen for a glass of water. Then setting it on her nightstand, she turned on the lamp and pulled away the sheets so she could lie in her bed. Resting on her side, she let her inner monologue begin towards her suppressed emotions and run wild.

'If I'm being honest, these days it's-' Before she could finish, she reasoned that she should write down all her feelings on paper, pick up a good habit in a time of pain. Sliding herself down from bed, she sat at her desk and pulled out an unused notebook, and began.