‼️DISCOUNTINUED: SIREN: a yeonbin ff

chapter 45

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Yeonjun was fed up with just sitting in his room all day. After his little meltdown with the devil, he was done with being so weak and defenseless. If he were to save his darling, it would be now and he would do it with pride and power. He gatherd every pained atom in his body together into whatever complicated being he was and sucked in a breath, but found it hard to do so when tears started falling from his eyes. He realized what he was doing was bad and that he probably leave Soobin alone, but he didn't care- nor did he want to. He needed to be the one to rescue his darling, no matter what the cause. He needed that one second of paradise, one moment one flash of what happiness truly felt like before the devil would come back to torment him again.

He needed his Soobin.

His one minute of true happinesses, one minutes of paradise, one step in his home, a small sense of the word "love", to feel home, to feel soobin and a moment without the numbess that always seemed to be present in his heart. He missed Soobin, he truly did, but not just the handsome face and heart shaped lips. He missed his darling, binnie, the bug sparkling doe eyes that shined up at him whenever the younger felt happy, the gentle smiles that made him feel like every pain he ever endured was worth it, the loving touched that showed him what hone felt like, and the kind soul that made him fall inlove from the first time, the gentleness and warmth that filled his empty cracked and healed his wounds. He longed for the delicate heart that beated for him along with his own, making a rhythm only for them to hear and whispered secret words only they coupd feel.

It was difficult to understand what happend to them along the way, even harder to process what truly went on in the others head, like how those warm brown eyes were sunken deep with fears and worries, and how that delicate heart was more fragile and easily broken than he had taken it for. It killed Yeonjun to think about Soobins current state right now, how he felt and hurted in that moment. It made him want to cry, bleed and fight all at the same time because in the end, Soobin would be safe and sound in his arms, wether Yeonjun ended up dead or alive, his delicate sea shell would remain safe and alive. He pushed the thought of him dying to the back of his head beacausr no matyer how many times he felt the torture was too much for him and the countless times he wanted to die, death always scared him. Since a frightening young age, he's wanted to kill himself for so long, but the thought of being put to sleep and never waking up terrifyed him.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

There on the other side of the sea and land, Soobin was left alone in the darkness being comforted only by his tears. He tried whispering to Yeonjun through whatever connection they had- if you could even call it that. "if I had told you about the darkness inside of me," he stopped as it became hard to breath from the tears choking him and closing up his throat preventing him from breathing. "-would you still look at me like I'm the sun?" his voice cracked and waverd as the words rolled off his tounge delicately but still laced with all his sorrow in the small question he utterd, every word infused with his pain.

"Remember when we made that promise junnie?" he croaked out. "you kissed m-my forehead, cheeks or lips, i don't remember. and then you offerd me y-your pinky finger" he sobbed even louder. "t-then you told me to promise and be your heart, b-because you knew your's was too broken and shatterd and that y-you would promise to be my s-soul because it was too delicate to be left in the hands of other people" he choked on his words as they were spoken with so much longing. Longing for the male he spoke of and to, just longing to feel safe in his arms again. "and then we made the promise, and then you said very quietly" he strained his mind trying to dig up the memories he spent so long trying to bury. "if for some reason I left, i will be both your heart and soul because I know they need care" 

"And then you sung me a song, junnie a sweet little lullaby that you always hummed to me when I couldn't fall asleep and when my mind wouldn't leave my alone, I could almost feel you holding me, cradling me in your arms even when you were beneath the surface because I believed in you, in your words" he squeezed his lips together trying to hold his tears from falling out but failed because right after, they poured from his glassy eyes like a waterfall painted by a hopeless artist. "pearly shells, from the ocean.." he hummed while hiccuping. "shining in the sun, covering the shore~ when I see them," his voice cracked painfully as he continued sobbing out the sweet tune. "my heart tells me that I love you, more than all those little pearly shells~"

Soobin touched the air with his fingers, it felt dense like a solid wall, and on the other side was yeonjun his yeonjun, the one with the warm eyes and tennder smiles and feather soft touches. He could almost feel him there, feel his supple flesh that clung onto his bones and everything in between on his fingertips, so close yet so far away.

And from the other side, the siren felt the same. It was like he could see the males soul, not as warm as it used to be but pained and full of sorrow, but found it just as beautiful. As if it was taken from its safe place and thrown into barren land left  trying to fend for itself but failing and finally collapsing with little to hold it up. He missed the Soobin before everything. Although he wasn't there to experience the unhurt Soobin in his younger years, the first time they met, it was as if Yeonjun was looking at a newborn baby cradeld in his mothers arms, new fresh pure and innocent, completely different to his reality.

It was if pearly shells clung around his heart like an armour, protecting it and sheltering the fragile thing from all the world has. Pearly shells brushing against his skin, calm waves filling his heart, It was like pure fresh water flowed into the cracks of Soobins beating heart and filled it with rivers, oceans, lakes and everything beautiful that comes with them, not healing or cracking his broken heart, but conplementing it, making it more beautiful than it was even before the hurt. Yeonjun didn't want to fix and change the younger, he loved the way Soobin was, before and after all the suffering. Every crack, wound, scar, he loved them all and wished on every star above them that he could have them all without the punishment and complications that came with it. He craved the simple love, comforting caring and beautiful, not the pain agony and suffering like heartbreak was.

Every shell was born to crack, all the beaches sand are there to be stepped on, and the ocean is polluted everyday with trash and oils, and the sky clouds moon and stars- aren't they still there in all their beuaty even after everything? It doesnt matter how long the beauty can last without dying, as they eventually will. But the impact that beauty has made will not die with its physical form, but live in the peoples hearts forever.

"promise me, after i am gone, your beauty will still remain untouched and pure, can you do that for me love?" yeonjun whisperd to Soobin when their hands were interwined on a starry night where the empty sky was dotted by beautiful little sparkles like paint splatterd on the cavas. It looked like a painting straight from the art gallery, but the true art was next to him. Soobin, his Soobin, the beauty in the night, the brightest star in the sky, his precious little pearl.

"promise me, if every beauty in the world comes to an end, and although it may seem hopless, yours will remain and you will try to make it beautiful again- make the world beautiful again, and promise me you will allow your beauty to touch the hearts of the people like it touched mine" 

Yeonjun wiped the tears that fell from his eyes and stood up. "i love you Soobin, and I know that I always will, forever and always. So I'm not going to leave, I will never give up on you- on us, and I wont let you push me away because you know I'll just come right back" he smiled for the first time he felt like in an eternity, a genuine one. "you wont push me away no matter how hard you try to, i won't leave binnie, and Im not losing you because I don't want to lose you, and that shits final bin." he sniffled softly while imagining his lovers smile on his face once again.

"i'm going to be here, loving you until the worlds end Soobin, as long as the tides still ripple and the waves still fall fall atop the sand on the beach and until every star in the sky loses its light and the hues of a sunset turn dull, forever and always"

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