LULAMA
"You're my chosen husband,"
He looks at me and I feel the pressure of everything that's happened in these past few days come flooding through me. I can't believe that one day I was just living my normal life and the next I locked eyes with him and this happened. It feels so unreal, I almost want to ask whose life I've been living because now it feels as though I'm living a different one.
I try so hard to keep it together but before I can pull these strings tighter I start sniffing and my tears make way. I turn my face away feeling embarrassed but he quickly reaches for me and hold me against his chest, his arms tightly around me, this doesn't get me to quiet down, it only makes me sob harder. You know when you're trying to keep a brave face then that one person asks if you're okay and you open your mouth to say you're fine but instead you start crying? That's how I'm feeling right now.
"Hey, it's okay. I've got you," Bangizwe says still holding me "It'll be okay... I know you're freaking out right now but it's going to be fine, I've got you." How I wish I could believe him, how are things going to be fine when it's all a mess.
I manage to calm down with my head against his chest, I've never given him a chance to have this close proximity. I think I've been scared that I'll fall into this thing too but I feel comfort right here. "Are you feeling better?" he asks and I nod.
"Aren't you going to let me in? It's rude to keep visitors standing outside," he says in a lighter note and I remember we aren't indoors, I hope my neighbours didn't witness that.
I straighten up and wipe my face "yeah sure... Come in," I move from the door way to make space. I'm so glad that I hadn't gone to bed yet or my sheets would be a mess right now, that's the downside to living in a studio apartment, everything is out in the open.
"You can sit there," I point at the L couch which divides the sleeping area and the rest of the room. I'm being conscious about my space right now. I've only ever had my family and friends in here and by looking at him, it's hard not to feel a little nervous, if I can call it that but what am I saying, I broke down in his arms a moment ago.
"Aren't you going to sit?" he asks and I'm sure to stretch the distance between us. We sit there quietly and he's just staring at me, this man can stare at you until you confess to things you didn't do but luckily for me, I don't back down easily. Yes, I might be feeling awkward right now but how will he know? Whose going to tell him?
He doesn't stop staring and it's hella awkward for me so I do the next best thing, I stare right back at him.
"I'm still waiting for the assault apology now that you know the truth,"he starts.
" Hai then you're gonna have to wait until the Lord comes back, I did nothing wrong,"
" Nothing wrong? Even when you now know I wasn't lying? "
" Are you ever going to let that go? " I sigh.
" Not until you say sorry, " he states.
" Okay, I'm sorry,"
"Mean it,"
Shuuu, this guy "I'm sorry for spraying you with pepper spray,"
"It appears the Lord came back early, huh?" he says and I roll my eyes at him but when he laughs I can't help but smile.
"On the real, how are you feeling?" he asks more seriously.
"I don't know, I know they confirmed it but there's still some denial, I'm also pissed at those dead people, I'm in disbelief, like I'll wake up and someone will say it was all a joke... I'm not sure if you get me,"
