We had been planning to go camping this weekend and fortunately I will be thinking with Jai and not Beau.
As we arrived for the trip I looked around a bit and found a lake about 5 minutes from our camp and a woods about the same distance I decided to go back and help set up the tents, I was setting up mine and Jai's tent when suddenly Daniel runs down from the car "Guys I forgot my tent can I bunk with one of you?" But when he says this he totally blanks Beau and is looking at Jai and James when suddenly Beau speaks up "You can share with Jai."
"But I'm in with Jai," I say desperate not to share with Beau "He can go in with James."
"Well you can come in with me Luke, and we can have fun." He says without looking up from his tennis look at Daniel who simply replies to Beau,
"Its ok I'll bunk with James, I don't mind."
"Oh no it's fine, we'll have fun Luke." He looks up with a rather scary smile across his face and I don't know what to do but then I think about what I saw earlier "I'm just gonna go to tell lake I'll be back later."
"Ok." The others reply in unison but Daniel, Jai and James all look at me concerned and I just smile and walk away.
When I reach the river I have a plan but I couldn't tell the others, they would've stopped me, I step to the edge and jump I start to run out of air and start to grasp for breath but I'm not giving in, not this time I'm here to see this through after all, my suffering will all be over. I drift in and out of consciousness and when I wake again I'm in a hospital room.
I look to my sides and see Jai and James "guys what happened?"
"Luke dude you tried to kill yourself!" James almost shouts at me.
"I know that, hey where's Beau?" James just nods to a bed beside mine
"Hes been sleeping there since you got here he hasn't left your side."
"How long have I been here?" I ask looking at both of them
"3 weeks." Jai replies pointedly "you've been in a coma."
I look around and wonder why, why did they pull me out? Why couldn't they've left me? Soon Daniel appears around the door carrying coffee for everyone and he sees me awake and looks at me before checking Beau is still asleep,
"Dude if you're that unhappy just tell him he'll understand." I look them, look at his body so peaceful when he's sleeping and wonder how I could bring myself to do that to him,
"No."
"What?" They all say in unison "Luke you almost died and it's all because you can't tell him you don't love him in that way."
" it look at him, he puts on a tough act but he's actually really sensitive."
"Luke you need to tell him or we will, it's not good for you ."
I just look away now knowing I've lost the battle I just stare at him and wonder how he'll take the news.
