Living in someone's shadow is difficult and majority of people know what it's like but not many people learn from their neglection. I went from driving my brothers old kart during the weekends to the first ever female driver in F2 and hopefully one...
Me and Logan stayed at the paddock to watch Max's practice sessions, but I couldn't help notice that Charles wasn't the one in his car.
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Moving on from Ferrari's tertiary driver in the car that Charles should have been in, I focused on my brother, he had set the fastest time and was continuing to set better times. After the hour and free practice was over and I had spoken to the press, I said my goodbyes to my brother and the team before heading to get some dinner with Logan.
The awkwardness from earlier had seemed to have fade away leaving just our normal and comforting conversations. I had just finished my meal when my phone vibrated from my pocket.
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"I'm so sorry Logan, but I really have to go," I apologised.
"It's fine, don't worry about it. Do you want a ride?"
I nodded reluctantly not wanting to make him do something if he didn't want to. I went to go and pay while he warmed up the car after my persistent reluctance to allow him to pay. I hate cliques, especially the boy having to pay, I've never been one to easily allow people to pay for me and if it ever happened I definitely didn't come without a fight.
He was waiting patiently for me, the glow of his phone reflecting on his face from behind the dashboard. A smile appeared on his face the second he noticed my presence along with the disappearance of his phone.
~
The journey felt short and was filled with enthusiastic conversation and before I knew it, I was stood in front of mine and Arthur's hotel room.
The second I opened the pressured, wooden door, I could see Arthur. His phone and car keys in his hands which sat on top of his bouncing leg.
"Hey, I'm sorry to disturb you," he laughed awkwardly jumping up from his seat, "I really do have to go," he gave me a quick hug, before zooming out the door.
Suddenly, I became all to aware that my ex was sleeping in the room which stood less than 5 ft away from me.
The plain wooden door wasn't closed fully, 2 inches prevented Charles from the privacy of his slumber. His relaxed and calmed face rested on the pillow directly in my view. It seemed almost unreal that even being in a different room I could still see and feel his presence.
He let out small mumbles which were inaudible through the distance between us. His face became strained and even with his eyes closed you could see the worry in his expression. He tossed and turned withing the covers, his gentil whispers turning into a small and steady shout.
"No, not yet. This can't be happening," I heard his yell.
I didn't feel comfortable seeing what was happening in front of me, If he wanted people to know that he has bad nightmares he would have told someone but just looking at him in this state felt like a breach of his privacy.
"Hey," I whispered putting my hand on his, trying to end whatever was eating away in his brain.
His eyes parted slightly, groaning at the shock of the light.
"Mila?" His voice was breathless and shakey, his his breathing raged and completely out of pattern.
"Ce n'était qu'un rêve (it was just a dream)," I stated, grabbing his hand to try and calm his heart rate.
We sat in silence, not a slice of tension between us as I sat next to him, my hand around his, just the sound of our mismatched breathing in the air.
"Do you want something to eat?" I asked turning my head to look at him.
"I don't mind," he muttered, so quiet that I could barely hear him.
I got up and headed to the kitchen and made some noodles that took just over five minutes to make topped of with a glass of water along with it.
"Thank you," he enthusiastically mumbled, taking the bowl out of my hands.
I sat back down at the foot of the bed as he watched me with his emerald eyes.
"I'm sorry," they were the only words he spoke, too genuine to be a lie.
I didn't exactly know what he was apologising for, he reverted his gaze to his food before taking a bite.
"About what?"
"Everything," he laughed quickly, a calm chuckle escaping his lips.
"I mean, practically all my life you've been here for me and the second we broke up which was basically all my fault... I shunned you out. I tried my hardest to ignore you and pretend that I didn't hope for your presence everyday. I should have spoken to you, tried to make things right. Atleast make sure that we could have spoken to each other instead of baring our lives without the other."
I was speechless, the words that I wanted to spill out my mouth sat in my pockets leaving my throat dry silent.
"These noodles are very nice, by the way," he whispered, changing the subject.
My lips formed into a smile, so many words waited to be released out of my mouth yet none of them seemed to escape. I was taken aback, motionless but yet I didn't want to be any other place. Just sat with him, the silence swimming in the air between us brought a relaxing feeling of comfort through my body.
"Thanks I guess," whispered joining him in the new subject.
