Alexithymia

Flower

Good evening, or should I say, midnight. Sleep eludes me as thoughts of you consume my mind. I can't help but reflect on our time together. I want to express my pride in you for having the courage to leave, something I wouldn't have been able to do. You were right about so many things, and I realize now that I should have changed earlier in our relationship. Thank you for enduring the challenges that came with being with me. It wasn't easy, and I appreciate your patience.

I'm not sure why I feel the need to tell you all of this, but it feels like my only chance to convey these sentiments. You've been gone for a considerable amount of time, and perhaps this message is only for my sake. It's been a while since we were together, and I find myself revisiting our past conversations, reminiscing about the happier times we shared. It brings tears to my eyes as I think about the things I could have done differently, the mistakes I shouldn't have made.

I know being with me was difficult, and I regret appearing in your life knowing the challenges it would bring. We had so many movies and shows on our list, ones we were meant to watch together. I would have cherished those moments, spending the whole summer by your side. But now you're gone, and even the simple act of watching something feels empty and meaningless.

Do you remember the song I told you about? "Flower" by Johnny Stimson. It still plays on repeat in my heart, a constant reminder of you. You truly were as beautiful as a flower, and I wish I had taken better care of you for longer. I'm sorry for any pain I may have caused you. I miss you more than words can express.

As midnight deepens, I find solace in these bittersweet memories. Sleep may elude me, but my thoughts are filled with love and longing for you. I hope you're doing well, and I wish you happiness and peace, even if it means we are no longer together.