Flowers Grow From The Corner Of His Eyes || -Kim Taehyung FF- ||

Chapter 8 : "Epiphyllum oxypetalum"

You sighed as you had a book open in front of you, but your mind was focused on something else, as you stared into nothingness.

Quite bad memories huh?

But even still, in the last few months, you managed to change alot more and drew lines wherever important.
Just to maintain distance from anyone and everyone.

Not Jungkook though.
Since he'd been closer to you almost all the time, he could see through you no matter what.
And he was FAR different, almost opposite of Lee Jong Suk and you knew it.

To think of it, it would be normal for anyone to be grateful to someone like you if they did anything like you did, but still.
There are all types of people in this world, what can you expect.

And even though he was totally talented on his own, he still decided to stick to you.
But the only thing was, that he thought about things too rationally.
Although it was something you would more likely support, you were, deep down a little sentimental too.

So explaining your problems on what really made you like this, would be a really big deal that you didn't do it anyways.

You would vent to him about your anger though, and he'd listen.
That was more than enough, expected from a friend.

He tried his best to support you anyways though. And from how insane of a person you were, you could've died from starving too if he hadn't looked out for you.

How many times has it been since you could've almost died?

Y/N - "7? No 8? Maybe 9..? In the last 2 years?"

You sighed.
And almost all these times, he was the one to get you saved.
Much more responsible than your own father that is.

But that wasn't the situation at hand right now, as you weren't as pathetic as you used to be.

To look back from now, you weren't really pathetic, it was just... You wanted love desperately.

Love and affection, these two words, you hadn't experienced in the last few years that just the glimpse of it made you behave so carelessly back then and became so vulnerable.

The only reason he played like that with you was because he was a psychologist and knew about what you were going through.

And took advantage of it.

You never asked him to return all the money and everything you bought for him though, to show him that you can't stoop as low as him.

You didn't like him or anything probably. It all happened just because you thought that he understood you.
But he didn't.

You lit up a cigarette as you smoked, even though it's not the best thing to do in a Library.

If anything, your last wish would be to travel back in that time and hug yourself and show her what real love is.
Maybe she still lived within you, but all you had to do is to protect her.

Thinking about past would make you tear up.

... Mom was just like me, wasn't she?

But the difference was, that she, driven away by her emotions took her own life.
If you had told her that you can't live without her, would she have stopped that right?

Or at least... Hesitated?

You could've saved her.
But you couldn't.
You weren't really the one to blame, but still you're the one who ended up suffering the most.

And for all you knew, the girl that lived in you, was none other than your own mom, which would often make you wonder if she could relate with you.
Make you wonder how she would look at you from up there.