Band Camp (boyxboy)

Chapter 19

♫ And though devotion rules my heart,

I take no vows ♫

"Are you sure?" I asked. I personally was really feeling the effects of the alcohol, and that paired with the whole Sidney and Thomson incident was the perfect recipe for some regrettable behaviour. And even though it had been my idea, and even though I really wanted to, I didn't want Hudson to regret it. If Hudson regretted it, then this was pointless, because his whole rational for waiting was not wanting to regret it. And as much as I wanted to be completely selfish, I actual had morals. I know, surprising.

"Yeah, it makes sense. Clearly, I can't trust anyone else to be who I think they are, and at least I'm not expecting anything of you," he replied bitterly. He leaned back on the arm of the couch in the teachers' lounge.

"Okay, so now what?"

"It was your idea. This is as far as you thought it through?" Hudson threw back the last of his drink and threw the empty can to the ground before smushing it under his foot. That was a lot of pent-up aggression.

"Okay, okay, calm down," I said, holding my hands up in defense. "What do we do right now? I will figure the rest out later, but do we want to keep this PG and say we told a secret, or are we putting on a show?" I asked.

"I am not kissing you, if that's what you're asking," he replied and I rolled my eyes in response.

"We have plans to have sex later but yeah, kissing me right now would be completely disgusting. But no, I'm not suggesting we do anything. I'm saying, do we want them to think that we did?"

"Nah, I don't want to do anything that could make people suspicious. But you owe me a secret," he said, his eyes coming up to meet mine. I eyed the clock on the wall to see that we'd already been here for 2 minutes.

"What?"

"I told you my secret for nothing earlier tonight, so I think I'm covered as far as this game goes. But you definitely owe me one," he explained.

"I don't have any secrets," I said plainly. I didn't have any juicy stories; I lived a normal, boring life. That's why I wanted to come to band camp, so that the next time someone asked me this, I would have a bank of secret, exciting stories to choose from.

"Well that's just bullshit. But I'll make it easy on you- I'll ask you three questions and you answer them."

"Three? You only told me one secret," I complained.

"Yeah, but my secret was a really good secret." I couldn't argue with that; I hadn't been expecting his secret at all. His secret was so good in fact, that I think if I tried to tell it to other people that they just wouldn't believe me.

"Fine, ask your questions," I conceded.

Hudson brought one of his legs up on the sofa arm and thought for a second.

"What do you want with Sidney?"

I knew that question was coming, but I still hadn't prepared a good answer, because I really didn't know. I liked the way he made me feel wanted, but I didn't feel like I could trust him enough to know whether this was just some act he did with everyone. At the very least, I wanted to be friends. But, it would be cool if we could like, go to prom or something.

"I want him to only want me," I finally said. It was the truth; I didn't want to pine after some guy who would jump at anything that moved. I wanted to know that I was special to him.