GOLDEN RULE

In The Past

In the past...A few hours ago was also considered the past, right?Traveling in this old, run-down car was like taking twice the time for a turtle to cover the same distance. It was torture for someone like me who craved speed. Sude and Tuğrul were sitting in the front, while Ela and I sat in the back. I had already accepted Ela; I always wanted a sibling, but accepting my new parents would be harder.Leaving the place I called home was heartbreaking.

 I used to live with my family in Antalya. It was like paradise to me. The air and water were beautiful in their own way. Leaving there and coming here felt like entering a different world. Or maybe it was just how it seemed to me.All your friends, all the beautiful memories and emotions you had until you turned 18, so many things were left behind. All you can think is, "What happens now?""What happens now?" I realized I said it out loud this time. My tone of voice revealed my sadness."You'll see," Tuğrul baba replied.Why did he do that? All the questions I wanted to ask piled up in my throat with this cold response. Was he angry about something?"Is something wrong?" I asked, but my mother intervened angrily,"Shut up, girl, stop asking questions, you've been bothering me." I was surprised. I had only asked one question.How had they changed so suddenly... I fell silent. I couldn't say anything. I looked at Ela; she was looking at me with fearful eyes. I blinked and started to watch outside through the window. 

When the car stopped, I realized we had arrived home. When I got out of the car, I couldn't believe my eyes. I expected a normal apartment like my old home, but this...This was not a home, it was a dilapidated wooden shack. It seemed barely standing. It was a terrible ruin. No one would even want to pass by it. And it was two stories high, almost as if it would collapse if you blew on it."What's wrong? Don't you like it? Don't just stand there, bring your suitcase inside quickly," Sude anne said, rolling her eyes and passing by me.I looked around; no one was there. It was like the perfect setting for the phrase "all hell broke loose." I took my suitcase and went inside, looking around. Broken wooden cabinets, an old worn-out chair, torn and defective curtains...It was dark and suffocating inside."Move!" Sude anne pushed me roughly from my shoulder. "Your room is upstairs, bone bag."I didn't say anything. I was afraid they would react even more harshly if I spoke. I silently followed the stairs. Sude anne was following behind me. We stopped in front of a black door on the upper floor."This is your room, don't wander around too much. Ela will stay here; all the other rooms are ours. Don't dare enter or ask me to let you in, and don't bring your sibling in," she said, grabbing my hair and widening her eyes. "Do you understand, little brat?"I nodded my head. It was all I could do. She pushed me into my room and slammed the door. I was very surprised by her actions. What was this now? Weren't they supposed to be smiling, kind people? Were they all fake, a charade?Instead of thinking, I started examining the room.I was looking at the room with an old black wardrobe, a bed, a dark-colored desk, and chair. Tears involuntarily filled my eyes. 

My old room used to be so colorful, while this room suffocated my soul. I walked towards the wardrobe and opened its door. As soon as I opened it, a thick cloud of dust emerged. The inside was filled with spiderwebs and dead bugs. The sight was enough to make me scrunch my face. I quickly closed the wardrobe. Due to the haste, the drawer beneath it fell. Unable to bear it any longer, I went downstairs. Sude anne had taken out my clothes from my suitcase and was examining them."Mom... Aren't those my clothes?" I hesitantly spoke the first word."Shut up, girl, these are mine now. You have good taste, well done, bone bag," she said, laughing.It felt as if those smiling faces had vanished, replaced by completely different people."Then what will I wear?" My voice was slightly angry and timid at the same time."What are you trying to say, huh? These clothes are mine now," she said, stepping on them."Alright, they can be yours. I'll go and buy new ones for myself," I said, trying to smile."Do you have money, huh?" Tuğrul baba immediately jumped in."Um... I have some pocket money," I said, smiling."Great..." he said, getting up from where he was sitting and coming towards me. "Give me your pocket money.""But that money is mine," I said as I backed away because he was coming at me.He quickened his steps, came and unexpectedly slapped me hard.My face was thrown to the side due to the impact of the pain. I groaned and held my face with my hand. I had never been slapped before. I never fought. I always laughed and didn't feel pain. I wish I had felt pain. I wish I had gotten used to it. It wouldn't hurt this much now, right?Now I say, I wish it had really been a joke. I'm starting to understand. My life was being ruined. I could feel it. Nothing would be the same anymore.Without looking at either of them, I went upstairs. I lay down on the bed; I didn't care about bugs and insects at that moment, I couldn't care. I tried to sleep. I wanted to sleep and escape from everything, even if it was just for a moment.My peaceful sleep was a thing of the past. Now, as my eyes closed under the weight of the day, I fell into my first restless sleep.