TIME TEACHES TO LAUGH

I DECIDED TO END IT

I was scrolling through my Instagram account, and I suddenly saw a new story posted by my close friend. It was rare to see her sharing something during mid-night and I just went to see it. 'Wow, so handsome,' I told myself on seeing the picture of the birthday boy. 'Who is this guy?' I texted her. Then suddenly I thought of the embarrassment I would go through if he was her close friend or brother. I deleted the message and clicked on the tagged name. To my surprise, his account was not private. I slowly realized that he was a popular football player with millions of fan base and even a Wikipedia page. I pitied myself for the incredibly low general knowledge and scrolled through his page. I reached his first picture, which was posted three years ago. I realized that I had went through over two thousand photos of him and finally reached the very first one.

He was so cute, and I did not feel tired on looking for more of him. That was the first time. I rarely appreciated people's beauty. Not the beauty of heart, okay? I mean the other one. Nobody looked perfect in my eyes, and I wonder if that is because I always preferred computer science in life. All I could see was errors and all I was interested in was finding errors. I had a peculiar character and I appreciated someone for the first time. Well, that was a once in a blue moon thing and I was reluctant to let go of him.

I kept on looking for him. I searched for him all over the internet and I found loads of interviews and videos of his matches. Well, it took me around 144 hours to finish all his videos including fan made ones. I became addicted. Finally, there was nothing more about him. I texted him in Instagram and I knew nothing would happen. Popular people rarely reply to their fans, and this too was the same story.

By that time, I became a qualified authority on this guy. But I kept everything to myself. May be, if I had shared all these things with someone I would not have ended up in a messy state. I got too much involved in this case and when I realized it, everything went out of my control. I created a fake account and sent a follow request to everyone he follows. That is totally insane! Few people accepted my request and I even chatted with strangers just because they were included in his following list. Some people became very curious about me, and they started asking me about my identity. I knew that disclosing it would really create trouble for me and somehow, I controlled myself.

At times, people really become mad and later when we rethink about it, it is all a joke. Yes, I was madly infatuated. I became crazier day by day. I could not let go of him. That was the first time in my life, to undergo such a situation. I knew that I was being stupid. But I could not do anything. There exist situations like this in life, we wish to let go of some things, but we cannot. I was sad that I could not do anything regarding this case. I wanted to let it go. But I wanted to be sure about something. I thought of telling my feelings to him. I knew texting him would not do any good. I felt like my head was about to burst, filled with thoughts about him.

I decided to share it with my friend. Because I knew if I had dragged it any longer, I would have lost my consciousness itself. We even planned of going to his place as a joke. We talked a lot about this issue and finally decided to let it sort out. I knew his home address. I wrote a letter to him, telling everything from scratch. I knew this letter would never get a reply. I even doubted if this would reach the right person. But still, I decided to write it. It took few hours for me to explain all my feelings and after writing that letter, I felt very much satisfied and happy. I felt like I have already confessed everything to the other party. I checked his account for few weeks, and I found nothing special. Then I realized that he was not interested in these kinds of things. Or maybe, the letter did not reach the right person. Maybe, that was our so-called destiny.

I came to an understanding that it is better to let go of the things I will never get. If you keep on holding into it, it is more like you are preventing the one on your way. I deleted my fake account and uninstalled my application. This took few days. Many times, I decided to, and I could not. But days later, I did it. I did not use my social media for few days, and I concentrated on more important things. Days later, I forgot about that. I was able to let go of that incident.

Everything in life is a matter of few seconds of insane courage. Do you have a secret crush? Just confess and either begin or end it. If we keep on pushing the matter without a direction, we will end up in a hell of negative thoughts and depression. Writing your confused thoughts can really help you a lot. Secret crushes, infatuations, love...this is all common. Beginning it or ending it requires a great courage. Before you let it go, make sure it is the best possible ending. Anyways, I decided to end it and that was the restart of my normal life. Later only I realized that I was not even in my normal sense during all these past days.

It took time for me to get rid of my foolish thoughts. That was not even a serious crush. But somehow, I got trapped in my malarkey thoughts and I could not come out of it. It took time for me to realize this. I realized that everything in life becomes better with time and in the end if we look back, we'll realize that this beautiful thing called time has taught us to smile over the silly mistakes we have committed, to laugh over the nerve we had on spouting nonsense confidently and to feel confident over the lessons we have experienced.

Time is wonderful, in every sense and we should not waste it. Having feelings to someone is normal. Not able to convey it properly is also normal. But if keeping it inside secretly, messes up your entire life, why not say it? Results are not important as long as you are bold enough to face the situation. Telling your feelings directly is a particularly important thing. The feeling you get once you confess what is inside your mind is unexplainable. Even if the other person rejects you, you will be satisfied that you were able to convey it. If that confession gifts you a happy beginning, that is the best possible ending, right?

Literally, TIME TEACHES TO LAUGH!