apprehension / hemmings

prologue

ap·pre·hen·sion
ˌaprəˈhenSHən/
noun.
anxiety or fear that something bad or unpleasant will happen.

--

I was so close. I was so close to you. I could've grabbed your hand, had I taken just a few steps into the street. I could have saved you, couldn't I have? Isn't it my fault?

"It's beautiful," the words were uttered from your lips quite softly. Your eyes caught sight of the dress that clothed the mannequin inside of the shop.

It was too late for anyone to be on the streets, as if the soulless atmosphere wasn't awful enough, but you had to do your wandering.

I felt your hand slip away from mine slowly, Eva. Even though everything happened so quickly, your hand stayed in mine for a few more seconds. It was a lot like our relationship. Slipping away, slowly, but for some reason, I was still holding on.

You turned your head to give me a quick glance, and in that glance, our eyes met for a few seconds. Even in the dark, I could still catch the glimmer of emerald that made your eyes dull. Your lips were painted red, I'd only noticed then, as they curved into a grin.

I sighed. There you'd been, playing your innocent game, even though you'd 'only fooled around' with someone the night before.

"Lukey, will you buy it fo-"

They were the last words that left your lips before they came. They were so fucking fast. The chloroform soaked towels that they placed over our mouths released such a horrible smell, it was the first thing I noticed about the kidnapping. You tried to scream, and you did, but for a matter of seconds. Your eyes shut, and then, mine did.

And right after, it was the worst silence I'd ever experienced.

When I awoke, you were right there. You were right in front of me. Kneeling down. My eyes watered very quickly at the sight of you. You looked so sad, Eva.

Trees and dirt surrounded us from every direction. Even though I couldn't see well, I could smell the thin trees, and feel the damp dirt and midnight dew slowly seeping through my skinny jeans. It was obvious that we were in a forest.

The men were tall, as well. Each meaty figure was cloaked in dark, if not black clothing, head to toe. I doubt that you could see them.

It took me a little while to realize that they blindfolded you. Once my vision came into focus, and though your eyes were covered, I could see your tears, they were all down your cheeks. Your sobs were so quiet.

My cheeks were beginning to warm up, and my eyes welled with hot tears. They came quicker and my entire body ached when the tallest man placed the gun to your ear. The second the cold metal of the handgun was pressed to your ear, you screamed against the palm of the man. Your scream hit me like tiny daggers, falling from the sky and landing on my body.

I screamed, too. Even though I no longer loved you, I would have fought for your life, but I was held back. My hands were tied tightly around my back, as were yours. The rope burned against my skin, which caused immense and immediate burns to ensue upon my wrists as I wriggled to break free from the ties.

Were you curious, Eva? Were you wondering what was happening, even though it was quite obvious? I was. I was, until the man pried his fingers off of your mouth. He cocked the gun, and another sob was stifled from your beautiful lips.

"Luke, save m-"

Before I could do anything, before I could even scream, the man pulled the trigger of the gun. Before I could react, before I could even comprehend what was happening, I was left there, and a vague silence was all that I heard.

I thought that I was next. I figured, they just murdered a 17 year old girl, for no reason. I figured that there was a reason behind my life being taken after yours. I figured, they had no point but to kill me next. But, the mask that covered my mouth was blatantly snatched off.

Instead of screaming, I simply stared up at the grinning men who took your life from you just seconds ago.

"This wasn't entertainment of any kind. There was a reason behind her death. There was also a reason as to why you had to witness it, and why you'll go through, well, what you're going to go in these next few months. Until the next time, Lucas."

The man, who was the only scrawny man there, spoke. His voice was average, his height, tall. His eyes were the only visible feature of his face, and the left eye winked. Before I could retaliate, I was out. Not killed, but knocked out, I suppose.

It was my fault, Eva. It was my fault. Your death, it was my fault.

And I'll never forgive myself.

--

update created on fri the 11th/dec/15: changed the story quite a bit. be prepared for more drastic editing tomorrow.

- n o v a (antichrist fem trash)