apprehension / hemmings

(3) therapy

I woke up the following morning with a headache. It was really bad. It felt like my brain was pounding into my skull, repeatedly. It just seemed to be one of those migraines that is karma's reminder that she's coming for you. Or, better yet, just a painful memory of some stupid shit someone did the previous night. 

Outside, the atmosphere was gloomy. Here, gloomy means sprinkles of rain drizzle, fog as thick as winter snow blankets, and a sky as grey as the receding hair of an elder. Stepping outside would give you the same type of migraine I was currently suffering from, so I decided that going outside wasn't a very bright idea, as my pain would double, and god knows what would happen then. 

When I went down the stairs to get a painkiller, mum met me at the medicine cabinet first. Before I could yank the white knob open, she spoke, which stopped me. "I thought you'd have a headache," she handed me the two large, mucus coloured pills that were in her hands. I took them, and thanked her with a nod, as well as a tired smile.

"Yeah, thanks."

"Love, can I ask you a question?" Mum raised her coffee mug to her thin lips, and glanced at me. She took a sip of the freshly brewed coffee, and as she did so, I glanced at the brewing machine, the coffee pot holding only a few drops of coffee.

"You can ask me a question. You can ask anyone a question." I retorted, a very light smile falling from my lips as I leaned my torso against the countertop. My hand covered my eyes, and I blew air through my pressed together lips, so that it'd make a pffffbtt noise, which it did.

"May I ask you a question?" In a sarcastic tone, she chuckled softly, and set the mug of black coffee onto the counter across from me. Her icy blue eyes, something I'd picked up, glanced at the clock and then, made their way over to me. 

I nodded.

"Who were you with yesterday? Where were you?"

"What?"

"Well.. You were out rather longer than I had expected you to be when you ran with Brandon. And, there was a stain of lipstick on your eyebrow last night." 

Instantly, the image of Violet appeared in my mind. All I'd gotten from her was a simple 'Hi' before Brandon and I had left, but something about her made this new feeling just rise up inside of me. I could tell though, while I was watching her, she didn't want to be there. She wasn't for those parties.

"I met a girl. I didn't fuck the girl. I didn't feel the girl. I didn't need the girl. I just met the girl and she kissed my eyebrow arch when I passed by her."

Mum smiled at me ever so slightly. I could tell that she wanted to chuckle. She wanted to giggle, and laugh. But, she didn't. Because she was uncomfortable. She simply kissed my forehead and reminded me that my first session with the new therapist was today.

The drive to the therapist's office was lengthy. Forty minutes, at least. I tried very hard to fall asleep during the drive, to calm my nerves, or stable my mind, because I learned the hard way that you have to be careful with what you tell these people.

When we arrived, mum parked. No one spoke a word for a few moments. I took this time to glance around the buildings. Trees were minimal, and a man could be heard shouting from a consignment shop beside the therapist's office. It was boring.

"I'm waiting for you to go in so that I can run some errands, love." Mum glanced over to me.

I stepped out of the car, and into the harsh winds. Before I knew it, my steps led me into the office, where the therapist was waiting for me. Elevator music played in the office and pamphlets to 'get help' were hung around the pale yellow walls.