apprehension / hemmings

(4) the girl

"How was he?"

"He was different." I replied to mum's question with a yawn. A smile appeared on her lips.

"You like different, aye?" She questioned me once more, and reversed out of the parking space.

I nodded.

"Edward told me s'why that Violet girl kissed your cup. She knew you were different and kissed so that you'd know she was."

"Yeah, you'd like him."

We reached home after an hour. What Edward had told my mum, about Violet kissing my coffee cup, made a bit of sense.

But, we only spoke of rain.

I climbed up the stairs and into my bed, slowly. My eyes were bloodshot with exhaustion and memories of the night I went to Charleston.

My head spun in circles with a headache. It took me a while before I could even begin to drift off. My mind was clouded with not only the thought of how horrible Eva was to me, but thoughts of Violet as well.

When I woke up, mum had left the house. I heard the door shut quietly as soon as I fluttered my eyes open.

My eyes were still tired.

I had a different heartbeat, and my breathing was slow. This must've meant that it's too early for me.

I could only nap for about 30 minutes. My sleep has changed a lot since her death.

I remember the first few nights after her death. I couldn't sleep. I mean, I had been convicted of her murder after witnessing it. I felt like I was losing my mind. My heartbeat was slow for days.

It was like reaching into a thin oven without any oven mitts, for a large pan. Sleep was my hand. Interruption, fatigue, or insomnia was the pan. Whenever I went to touch it, I got burned. Which, metaphorically, meant I was awake. Unless it was super quick, which meant slumber that was too short, I still ended up awake because no matter what, I would have been burned anyways.

This was consistent for nearly a month.

When I awoke, I was sluggish. My hair was a mess, and my nose and chin was oily. Mum was asleep in the chair of our dinner table, and was probably going to awaken hungover.

I fixed myself a French toast croissant and immediately bit into the butter filled pastry.

Once I was dressed in proper attire for the day, I pulled on my peacoat. I took six dollars from mum's wallet and rode my bike to the coffee shop where I last got mum some coffee.

It was 10:57 when I reached the shop. I parked my bike inside of the alleyway beside the shop. Then, I entered the shop.

"Violet?"

I'd taken some closer steps towards the figure that looked just like Violet. She turned her body to face me, and her eyes met my own.

"Oh, Luke!" Her mouth crawled into a grin at what I was hoping was the sight of me. She was such a beauty.

"How are you?" My eyebrow arched as I questioned her. A lady behind the glass counter who'd been wearing too much blue eye shadow, set a coffee on the countertop.

"I've been.. Well. Well." She replied with a slight amount of hesitance.

She looked skinnier than the last time I'd seen her. She also looked as if she hadn't wanted to see me. The atmosphere between us was awkward. Almost uncomfortable.
"Well, yeah. Yeah, that's great, Violet. Erm, yeah." I retorted quietly.

"Would you- would you like to join me for coffee?"

I was stunned she'd even asked me that question. The entire café consisted of the scent of bland coffee, small chatter, and exhaustion.

"Yeah, yeah, um... I would, but, I'm only 'round here again because I was getting my mum some coffee. I can only imagine how bad her headache will be when she awakens. She passed out drunk last night."

Her eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly, but she nodded. "Oh, I understand."

I felt bad. Maybe the one chance I had to see Violet once again and I was sure I'd blown the chance.

"If I give you my number though, we can meet up later?"

"Of course," Violet answered my question sweetly. Her voice itself was so sweet, and subtle. Mine was raspy and low. Girls find it attractive. They just don't see it from my perspective, and that's that I don't like it, meaning, in a way, that I'm stuck with it for the rest of my life.

"You're lovely, Vi." I told her with a small smile. I noticed the rosy blush that tinted her cheeks as the worker behind the counter handed me the coffee I ordered for mum.

"Really lovely," I added in a mumble.

"You're sweet, Luke. Actually thought you were an asshole at one point."

"Oh, speaking of. I know why you kissed the cup. We'll discuss it over coffee." Shooting her a wink, those were the last words I'd given to Violet before making my way back home.

Once I reached home, I sat beside mum at the kitchen table. The lights were dim, and her hair was a mess. I knew that last night was a hard night for her. She was smashed, I'd dreamt it. Or, heard her in my dreams.

She found some happiness in dancing on the kitchen table, bottle of peach schnapps in one hand, herself singing Springsteen until her lungs gave out. She must've passed out at 3.

I mean, think about it. It wasn't easy for her to give birth at 16. And to raise the son alone? She's only 32 now. She's still young. I always tell her to get out there, have some fun.

S'pose her fun is cheap schnapps.

"Mum," I gave her shoulder a gentle shake. "C'mon, mum, I've gotten you some coffee, mum."

"Mum," a whiny groan left my lips. Normally, she'd wake by now.

"Fuck, ma, wake up!" I was panicky. My actions towards her were a bit harsh.

"Oh, fuck off, babe."

"You scared the shit out of me." I chuckled. Her eyes fluttered open to reveal the same ice blue set of eyes that were passed on to me. "I think I'm gonna get you some help."

short filler, i guess.
what do you reckon will happen in the next chapter?
feedback is greatly appreciated.

- n o v a