𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐀𝐧𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 (𝐊𝐚𝐞𝐲𝐚𝐱𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

Chapter 17: When I Found My Home

The crowd erupted into drunken emotion, their cheers and cries echoing through the venue. You stood there, completely speechless. The deafening roars drowned out any thoughts that tried to form in your mind, and your intoxicated state did not help. All you could do was process and watch the events unfold.

The chaos of the room was suddenly blocked by Kaeya who rushed towards you, arms stretched as he pulled you in for a tight hug. You were caught off guard by the sudden physical affection, but your heart raced with butterflies and your emotions danced as you wrapped your arms around him, hugging back.
Time seemed to freeze, as if you two had an Abyss Mage shield around you, blocking all the chaos out as you and Kaeya hugged. In his arms, you felt safe and warm, and inhaled deeply, taking in his intoxicating scent. It was a blend of earthiness, like the Mondstadt trees, mixed with the familiar scent of dandelion wine.
Exhaustion hitting you all of a sudden, you looked up at Kaeya, who met your eyes with a smile, still enveloping you in his arms.
"Can we get out of here? I feel fulfilled by my time here," you hinted ambiguously at the intel.
Understanding what you were trying to conceal, Kaeya nodded and reached for your hand again, offering a reassuring grip as he led the two of you out of the venue.
As you strolled together to find a quiet spot to rest, you noticed that Kaeya was still holding your hand – you loved the feeling of how perfectly his hand fit with yours, as well as the comfort it gave your heart, so you stayed silent, until you both let go upon finding a peaceful riverbank to sit by.

"That was pretty intense," you sighed, before Kaeya gently held your chin to turn your head. His gentle yet dominating touch made you blush, your heart skipping a beat like the leaves behind you two that crickled and crackled, echoing into the night.
"You must have been worried, no?" Kaeya prompted, his voice gentle yet tinged with that signature mischievousness, an almost sadistic undertone that added an edge to his demeanor. You decided to play along, meeting his mischievous behaviour with a teasing smile.
"Worried? Oh, Captain, I have complete faith in your ability to protect your cavalry," you replied, your voice laced with playful assurance. "Besides, even if the tides had turned, I'm sure we'd be able to get me out of there." Hearing this, Kaeya laughed, a genuine, deep laugh that melted your heart, before he tilted his head in curiosity.
"So Y/N, you have quite an interesting method of gathering intel," he began, his tone tinged with interest and...jealousy? The glimpse of envy did not go unnoticed by you, but just as quickly as it surfaced, it was gone. And though you knew your methods were not the most ethical, they had been effective!
"What about it?" you feigned innocence.
"Luring the subject into a false sense of security, getting the information that you need, and finally leaving them in the dust. It is rather skilful, almost on par with my own methods," the Captain smirked with a playful arrogance.
"Why isn't it on par? What am I missing Kaeya?" you curiously asked, intrigued by his perspective. Kaeya leaned in and reached for your hand, lacing it with his. Your feelings ran crazy with the gesture and you struggled to hold eye-contact with the handsome man. With a solid yet soft grip, Kaeya guided your hand, mimicking the motion of a punch.
"To punish them at the end. To put them in such a situation, that they are forced to undergo a rebirth, akin to a phoenix from the ashes, or that they meet their demise," he explained, a sadistic undertone in his smooth voice. That is oddly specific, you thought to yourself. Is this how he views his duties as a Knight? You felt unnerved by the depths Kaeya was willing to go to for justice. In that moment, you realised that Kaeya Alberich was a lot more complex, and these layers went beyond the charm that he often would present to everyone. This in itself only deepened your feelings for him.

There was a silent moment between the two of you, where your hands were still intertwined. Your heart raced, and you wondered if Kaeya could hear it.

Eventually, he let go before reaching into his velvet blazer, bringing out...of course, you inwardly rolled your eyes – an alcohol flask.
"Let us raise a toast to our successes, partner. You know, working with you has been the most fun I have had during my time as a Knight." Kaeya spoke, his words curling into vapour, before disappearing into the dark night. "I hope it stays this way," he murmured.
You smiled before taking the flask from his hand and drinking from it, the liquid infusing your body with a comforting heat.
"I agree, it's been a fun journey so far."

As the two of you drank and the night went on, the quiet atmosphere of the riverbank began to blossom into funny stories and laughter, before taking a deep turn.
"Kaeya?" you began, before tipsily resting your dizzy head on his shoulder. A tiny part of you expected him to push you off, nevertheless you were pleasantly surprised when he instead shuffled closer to you and began to stroke your hair.
"Hm?"
"Why did Tartaglia call you Prince?"
Your head felt Kaeya's body freeze, tensed. This lasted for a few seconds before his body relaxed and he sighed.
"I suppose there's no way to hide it now, is there? Remember those Abyss Mages that attacked you the day you reached Mondstadt?" Kaeya spoke, an edge of pain in his voice. You felt bad at hearing how difficult this was for him to share, but you did not stop him.
"I do, I remember that I had no clue what they were."
"They used to be Khaenri'ahn citizens, but the sinners were cursed into becoming these hilichurls and Abyss Mages, all these monsters that we deal with," Kaeya continued, speaking quickly as if he would have preferred not to revisit the memory. You were shocked at this revelation – this was unheard of in Inazuma – but you worried that any sudden and loud reactions would make Kaeya feel worse. So you stayed by his side, resting on him as he continued sharing. "My ancestors were an important lineage of Khaenri'ah, and since I am an Alberich and some Khaenri'ahn citizens formed the Abyss Order that would unfortunately make me Prince of the Abyss Order by logic."
It all made sense now, as all of your questions were suddenly answered.
"That's why Dainsleif is hunting you down," you slurred, eyes hazy and distant in thought.
"What?" You sat up as Kaeya shook your head with his shoulder. "Y/N, what did you mean by 'hunting me down'?" As his question was registering in your mind, your heart stopped and the effects of the alcohol died immediately. Your blood ran cold with fear as you remembered Dainsleif's warning:

"I will be hunting him down...it would be devastating if someone were to inform the betrayer and mess with my operation. I would have to kill that lowly informer. So I strongly advise you to keep this to yourself. I do not want to have to take any unnecessary lives, but in the line of duty, I am more than willing."

You shook your head before yawning, an attempt to deflect. You were by no means tired, the fear had shocked you awake. With the fear rushed back the demons, pouring into your mind by the thousands, as they swirled around inside your head, whispering once again:
"Dainsleif will murder you."
"Your escape from Inazuma was for nothing, all because you couldn't keep your mouth shut."
"What is finding peace if you cannot hold onto it yourself?"
"Forget any chances of feeling the same towards you, Kaeya will despise you. You're fake, and you turned fake the day you left your deceased loved ones."
"You're weak and your struggles are meaningless."

It had been a long time since you had these thoughts, and they once again returned to plague you. They were right – what was the point of your journey? It was pointless.
Ignoring Kaeya's words, you looked down at the ground as tears quietly cascaded down your face, illuminated by the silvery moonlight. As they fell faster, you felt your throat close, your silent struggle turning into loud sobs, emphasised by the silence of the dead night. Even Kaeya, whose hands rested on either side of your arms, turning you directly to him, had stopped questioning you. Silently without any hesitation, he pulled you towards him, wrapping his arms protectively around you. As you cried heavily into his chest, Kaeya gently stroked your hair whilst resting his cheek on the top of your head, as he whispered,
"Just like you have trusted me, I trust you Y/N. You don't have to tell me right now, just know that if you are in any danger from Dainsleif, come to me. I'll fight with my life if I have to."
Hearing the last line only fed your haunted mind with immense guilt, and you began to pull away from his embrace, moving your head away from his chest. You grew more forceful and tried to pull away with all your might, but Kaeya only held you closer to him. Little did you realise that he knew. Kaeya noticed the way you held his blazer tightly, wanting to hold on, despite you trying to pull away. Little did you know that he knew what it felt like, needing someone's support but having to don a mask of strength instead. Having to deal with unkind thoughts amongst the other hardships of life. Kaeya knew, and so he held you there against him, with the hope that he can be your safe place – your home.

After a while, you calmed down, the thoughts dulling into a general whirring at the back of your mind. Slowly lifting your head, you met Kaeya's concerned gaze, and a pang of guilt tugged at your heart. It stung to see him so worried for you, but you had to get yourself together and keep going.
"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you straight away. I only found out after you disappeared, that day we swam underwater. I tried to tell you but-," you began, your voice trembling as the memories returned.
"But I cut you off that morning at the tavern." Kaeya finished, his voice quiet and expression now thoughtful, yet the soft worry in his eye remained. You nodded, your hair brushing against his neck closely.
"He threatened to kill me if I told you about this Kaeya. And then we went months without speaking, and in that time I had become acquainted enough with Dainsleif – he apologised too, but now I wonder if that was only because I no longer spoke with you," you continued to share as Kaeya listened, tightening his hold on you.
"It's not your fault, Y/N," Kaeya interjected, his voice firm yet gentle as he held you closer, as if to shield you from any more self-blame.
"Kaeya, I could have told you earlier," you started to protest, your voice filled with remorse.
"No Y/N, listen t-," Kaeya interrupted, but barely spoke before you cut him off.
"No Kaeya, I practically bet-"
"Y/N-,"
"I betrayed-"

Before you could utter another word, Kaeya's lips met yours, and the nation of Teyvat faded into insignificance.