Intricate: Our Bittersweet Love | MARKNOMINHYUCK(bxbxbxb)

Chapter 25

C H A P T E R 25: I'd rather die...

-----Jaemin-----

Nothing felt the same after that day. Sure, we did everything exactly just like before but there was always something behind us. That constant 'watch out' threat that Jeno's parents have attached to us.

We all tried to ignore it. We all tried to pretend that it wasn't there. But that suffocating, one thought overpowered everything else.

We didn't physically come close to the other in public anymore. I spent more time with Renjun and Jisung and Chenle during school now. Donghyuck had his group of friends and Jeno went back to hanging out in the nurse's office during lunch. There was no "official" talk to come to the conclusion that staying away in public was the best, we just understood it. We still hung out at my or Donghyuck's house after school and mostly cuddled in bed but the phrase 'everything will be okay' resonated between us even if it wasn't with words.

I miss Mark-Hyung more these days. Like he's the piece of our little puzzle that's missing. Even if we call every single day, it doesn't feel like enough. He hasn't been able to come around for two weeks, busy preparing and taking his midterm exams. I don't blame him, I know how much he cares about school but sometimes I wished to tell him, "can't you study here?" But I know better. Because I know Mark. And I know that if he could, he would be right by our side.

I can see the disappointed look in his eyes every time I see his face. He wants to be here. Now more than ever.

"Nana," I hear a whisper from behind me, the breath of the person, Jeno, tickling my skin.

I press myself closer to him, wanting the comfort of his warmth. "Yes?"

"What are you thinking?" He asks, dipping his head in my neck. I shiver slightly.

"Nothing," I say quickly after a second thought. I knew that he sometimes thought the same things that I did and somehow, putting them out there didn't feel right.

He knew I was lying. I could tell by the way he froze for a small second. "I need you to be honest, Jaem."

I sigh. "I- I know but... you know what I'm thinking." That was the only excuse I could give.

I look at Donghyuck who was right in front of
me, sleeping. I reach a hand out and caress his hair slowly and careful not to wake him. "There's a lot on my mind and there's a lot on yours, I'm sure. Let's just... forget it for a while, please?" I felt extra vulnerable, more than I have felt in the last two weeks.

There was the reoccurring worry on when his parents would dare to strike. There was the worry on how they would strike.

I close my eyes, really willing myself to not think about it any further.

I melt when I feel feather like kisses on my neck, instantly distracting me.

"Jeno, I love you." I wanted to cry and I have no idea why.

-----Mark-----

Not even an ounce of me managed to will myself to concentrate on the papers in front of me.

My chin on my hand, elbow propped on my desk, I stared into the blank wall in front of me. My other hand bounced my pencil up and down, an action caused by anxiousness.

I sigh and look back down at my study papers, reading and re-reading the words of the first question yet I could not register even a word.

I didn't want to be here.

I lay my forehead of the desk, closing my eyes tiredly. There was a lump on my throat. I miss them. I wanted to be with them. I needed to be with them yet I knew that I would fail every exam if I let myself be distracted with the problems of my real world.

I want these days to be over so desperately.

Just two more days, I remind myself with the intention of encouraging myself to get back to work. But I couldn't. Because I couldn't help but wonder what my three boys were up to and whether they were okay or if Jeno's parents had gotten to them between last night and today. It's been two weeks and the more time that passes the more I feel like their threats aren't empty and I can't help but wonder what's taking them so long. Why are they making us wait so long. Is it for the element of surprise? Did they find some compassion and are giving us some time to be together? And if they are, and I wasting the time they are giving us here? Or perhaps, they don't care about us anymore. I was hoping for that, desperately.

The ringing of my phone startles me out of my thoughts. I instantly take it into my hands and I smile upon seeing Donghyuck's contact name 'Our Sunshine ☀️❤️'.

"Hey," I say after answering the call, smiling into the camera, quickly forgetting about my previous state of tiredness.

"Hi," Donghyuck replies, waving with the hand that wasn't holding the phone.

He tilts the phone to face the other two who were laying on the bed; Jeno was behind Jaemin, his arm around his waist. They both threw me a lazy grin and Jaemin waved at me.

"What are you guys up to?" I ask, leaning back on my desk chair, letting go of my pencil.

"You know, the usual," Donghyuck answers. By that he meant; just cuddling in bed, neglecting homework until the next morning. "How about you, Marker," he grins teasingly.

I roll my eyes but smile. I sigh, "Studying. I can't wait for my last test. I can't wait to go home." I smile sadly.

"We can't wait either," he looks down, at the other two I'm sure, "We miss you desperately." He doesn't look at the camera as he says it. I couldn't quite tell whether it was out of shame or shyness. I hoped he was just shy about it because there was nothing to be ashamed of.

"I miss you guys so, so, so much. Each day more and more," I tell them sincerely, pouring my whole heart out without fear. I needed them to know this. "I love you. I love you three, just wait a little bit more, okay?" My eyes became teary. I wish I could've said this to them in person but right now felt like the right time.

I saw their smiles and I could see it all in their eyes, their 'I love you too.'

What we have... what we have is something special, something that only happens in a lifetime. I believe that. I believe that they believe that, too. What we have was true love, something even bigger and the thought of losing them made my heart ache.

I'm afraid that if the moment did come. The moment where we would have to face the world apart would come, I believe that I wouldn't survive. I believe I would rather die than facing that...