Intricate: Our Bittersweet Love | MARKNOMINHYUCK(bxbxbxb)

Bonus: Jeno's letter

B O N U S

Actually, I'm not too sure what I should tell you guys. Besides I'm sorry, there isn't much to say... Actually, there is. I wish I didn't have to leave. I don't know how much that's worth to you guys but the three of you have to know that I never thought this would happen and if I could, if there was a way around this, I wouldn't leave you guys. My heart hurts. I want to believe that so do yours, that there is an unbearable ache in all of our hearts. That hurt, as much as I wish you weren't feeling it, because it is the last thing that I would ever wish upon you, is the last thing that connects us. I want to tell you to forget me, maybe forget about all of our moments together, block me out of every moment. But that would be a lie. I don't want to forget and I don't want you guys to forget about me and all the beautiful things that we have shared in the span of a couple of months...9 if I'm counting accurately. You guys are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and that will never change. As I write this, each of your eyes passes through my mind. They're sad and teary, something I wish I could take away forever because all I've ever wanted was for your eyes to be bright and for your lips to be turned up. So, please, please don't cry over this.

I'm going back to my parents and I will confront them. I don't know what will happen afterward. Maybe they'll send me away or keep me here at the company headquarters. I don't know anything. I want to leave, to escape, and I contemplated asking you guys to leave with me, somewhere we wouldn't be found. Somewhere where it was just us and we could be in bed all day and night long and only worry about each other, no one else. Somewhere where every morning we would hear the birds chirp and the sound of the wind as it flows. Doesn't that sound perfect? Like a dream... but it's just a dream and reality is nowhere close to that easy.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that my parents caused the accident, and I'm sorry that you guys came to love me and you'll hurt when you get this. I can feel it. The hurt, I mean. I'm sorry things can't be easy because of me. I'm sorry we can't be together longer. I'm sorry that I'll be the cause of your tears. I regret not kissing you guys more. I regret not holding you three in my arms more, and I regret not telling you how much I love you sooner. I regret not expressing my feelings well and not telling you how beautiful and precious you all are every single day.

Lee Donghyuck. Na Jaemin. Lee Minhyung. You three are so special. You made me see that life actually does have things to offer after I had lost hope years ago. You were the reason for my happiness and my continuous existence. 

Can I tell you a secret (maybe a couple)  that will only be for the three of us for the rest of our lives?

People used to get into fights with me all the time because they thought that's what I wanted and for some reason, they thought if they beat me, they would be on top of the world. Every day after school, I would go home. The house would be empty and I would take a sigh. I would close my eyes before opening them and walking to my room. I would have to treat my own wounds (except when I went to the nurse's office with Ms. Kwon.) The first time that I officially met Jaemin, the day Mark and he were having their first date and I was just about ready to pass out, that was the first day my wounds were ever treated by someone else. Back then, I thought of how beautiful your smile was, Jaemin. Now, remembering that day makes my heart flutter.

Donghyuck, I had always seen you as annoying, simple as that. But there was this time. We were in sixth grade and my parents had forgotten to send someone for me at school. That day, it was raining and I had no umbrella and my house was pretty far away for me to walk and I had no idea how public transportation worked so I had to wait it out. I waited by the entrance and just two minutes later, you came out, an umbrella in your hand. You looked at me, from head to toe, judging me before rolling your eyes, grabbing onto one of my sleeves, and dragging me with you to where your dad was waiting. I think, if I'm being honest, that was the first time I felt something for you. Because, you didn't have to do that, you hated me, after all.

I don't think there's an exact moment I can pinpoint where I fell for Mark. It was over the course of everything. It was because of your smile, your clumsiness, and your determination. It was your soft hair and your voice that slowly but surely made me fall. However, there was this one moment when I just went 'Huh, I really do like this boy.' It was prom. We all went, separate, of course, but we all knew that we were together. It hadn't even been two full months since we were together but Mark kept going to each of us to ask every once in a while how we felt. No one had ever been that caring to me, especially in the span of such little time. That's not the point, though. At the end of the night, Jaemin looked upset because he wanted to dance with us. So, at midnight, you took us to the park which was completely empty, and in the middle of the basketball court, you offered your hand to each one of us. I rolled my eyes and rejected you, but that doesn't change the meaning of it all.

I love you three. So, so fucking much, you have no idea. I never thought I'd feel anything this strong. I feel like I'll die. I don't want you guys to feel this way. Can you promise me you won't? Can the three of you promise me that you'll be okay? I truly believe that one day we will reunite, that we will happily be together one day. I don't care how long it takes. I'm not asking you guys to wait but I hope that you also believe in this because this love that we share, I know it's rare. I'll be back. One day. But live your lives for now, yes?

I love you. I will for as long as I live.

Yours,
Jeno