A Boy by the Name of Theseus~a Transinnit sbi story~

Chapter four

Tws: mentions of sh, showing people scars/cuts, gender dysphoria, self hatred, arguing, sh, suicidal thoughts
Also I don't think I mentioned this before but the underlined thoughts Tommy has aren't really his thoughts if that makes sense. It's like someone else in his head saying things to him (not very good things). But yeah.

Phil pov:
I got a call from Wil late last night, his voice was horse from crying. He told me Quackity thought he had seen Tommy cut himself. He told me what Quackity saw, and all sorts of other things that could've been signs he's been doing this for a while that we didn't see before.

Hearing all of that was really hard, I don't understand why Tommy didn't tell me.

Is that why he wouldn't look at me?

What could I have done to stop it?

Was this the first time?

I'm so worried him. I mean what father wouldn't be?(mine)

I know it probably isn't the right thing to do, but I do it anyway. I walk over to Tommy's room and knock on the door.

I hear some shuffling, what sounds like a drawer shutting, and Tommy muttering 'shit' before I hear the door lock click and Tommy opens the door. "Hi," he says. His eyes are still red, his eyelashes are wet, his voice is horse.

What kind of father am I to let my child suffer the way Tommy does, the way any of my sons do?

"Can I talk to you?" I ask. Tommy nods. "It's very important Tommy." I say seriously. I can see fear wash over Tommy's face as he nods again. "Do you want to talk in your room or somewhere else?" I ask. "Somewhere else." He answers, almost too quickly. I nod, taking his hand in mine and guiding him to the lounge.

He sits down on a chair opposite where I'm sitting on the couch. "Am I in trouble?" He asks. I shake my head. "I just want to check in on you." I reply. "Well, I'm fine." He says.

It breaks my heart to hear him lie about that. He should feel safe talking to me but he lies about something so important. What did I do to lose his trust?

"No you're not, Tommy, I can see it." I say calmly. "No you can't." He defends. "So you're not ok, I just can't see it?" I ask. "No. You can't see that I'm not ok because I am ok." He replies. "Tom, please tell me the truth." I plead. "I am telling the truth!" He shouts.

It really hurts that he thinks he can't be honest with me.

"Tommy, I know that's not true. Please be honest." I beg, I just want to hear him tell me he needs help; hear him tell the truth. "How would you know?" He asks, I can hear the pain in his voice. "Your eyes are red and I've heard you crying the last two days, you've hardly eaten anything, and you're keeping your door locked." I explain. "I'm just having a bit of a rough time right now. But I'm fine." He replies.

"Tommy, could you tell me what the weathers like today?" I ask. Tommy shrugs in response. "You should spend some time outside." I suggest.

"Really, Dad?!" Tommy yells, standing up. "That's really what you had to say?!" I'm taken aback, I don't know what I did wrong. "If you can 'see that I'm struggling' how are you so fucking oblivious to it?! Maybe an 'oh son it's why are you only in long sleeves, even when it turns summer?' would be nice! Maybe 'why are all our pencil sharpeners missing?' 'oh,I don't know dad, maybe because I broke them so that I could cut myself!'" He screams, sobbing now. "Why can nobody see how much I'm hurting?" He whimpers.

I've never seen Tommy like this. It pains me to see someone I love and care about so hurt.

Tommy was shaking. His breathing was uneven and heavy. He choked out sobs as he left the lounge and ran for his room.