A Boy by the Name of Theseus~a Transinnit sbi story~

Chapter 5

Tws: Technoblade is in this chapter if you have trouble reading that, flashbacks sort of, mentions of nightmares, a little depersonalization(based on my experience), thoughts of suicide, past suicide attempts, past suicide contemplation, mentions of sh

Tommy pov:
I wake up from an awful nightmare in a sweat. I can't remember it perfectly but Dream was there. Lots of Dream. Him during my exile. Him killing ghostbur. Just thinking back to it sent shivers down my spine. I wipe dried tears off my face.

I'm fine.

He can't hurt me any more.

I get out of bed and put on the first jumper I see, which happens to be the one I made from Friend's wool. I also put on some beige cargo shorts.

I walk out to the dinning room to see Dadza and Techno sitting at the table together eating breakfast and drinking coffee. "Techno, you're back!" I shout running up to him. My voice is raspy and tiered sounding but I don't mind it, actually I quite like it. "There you are Theseus." Techno says, patting my shoulder. Having Techno here helps me feel a little safer, a little further from the past.

"Sit down, we're having toast." Dadza says. I sit at the table, putting a slice of toast on my plate and spreading strawberry jam over it.

I try to pretend that everything is normal, I know it's not.

Did Dadza tell Techno?

What will he think?

Surly he'll be upset with you.

No, no, he won't.

All my new cuts feel so there now. They feel so strong. I don't like it.

"You alright Tommy?" Dadza asks. "What? Yeah. I'm fine." I reply. "You've hardly touched your food." He says. "I'm just not hungry." It's not entirely a lie, I've lost my appetite. I feel nauseous.

There's a deep pain and a growl from my stomach, I need to eat but if I do I think I might be sick.

"That didn't sound 'not hungry'." Dadza says.

I feel tears press at my eyes. "I can't eat." I mumble. "Why's that?" Dadza asks. "I just can't." I reply. Dadza looks at me confused, waiting for me to continue.

They're all gonna hate you.

They already do.

You ruined things with Wilbur and Quackity.

Phil surly hates you for the mess yesterday.

Phil read your journals. He knows.

He didn't read them, he wouldn't.

But he would. All your blades were missing and so is your knife. He went through it all.

You're an awful person.

You deserved what Dream gave you.

Dream's words ring in my head. I can feel the wounds as if they're new. I can hear the explosions, smell the gunpowder.

My breathing is labored. I can't breathe.

I can't breathe.

Good.

"Tommy?" I faintly hear Dadza ask, it's like an echo past my thoughts and memories. I feel as if I'm watching the world around me from somewhere else. It feels like my body is floating in water and there's nothing really around me.