Lost In Wonder (Jenlisa And Chaesoo One Shots)

Maybe It's Heartache (Jenlisa)

(Story Theme: angst and fluff, romantic plot)

Jennie's P.O.V.

There can be such heartache in silence. That feeling of nothingness is a sadness in itself. There were moments when I wondered if Lisa was happy back in Thailand. Did she ever miss being here in Seoul?

When I think back, I genuinely thought Lisa and I would be together forever. I felt so elated being around her but then out of the blue it was like something faded away.

She went back to Thailand a few months ago and that was that. There was no dramatic finale. She was my rock, my world and then suddenly she was just gone. Maybe she didn't need me in her life anymore.

For days, I sat feeling lost and confused like my heart had broken repeatedly. Despite the anguish, I still always thought fondly of her and wished for her to be happy.

As I wondered along the boulevard on a pleasant but breezy spring day, my mind was constantly contemplating all those what if moments.

Everything seemed like a reminder of her. I heard songs differently and I read poetry like it was written about us. I wished I would have told her how much she meant to me, how I cherished those moments together. And yet now, I simply felt lost like I was drowning in the sea of a thousand memories.

Walking along the familiar street that had become my home, I checked my watch as I turned the corner towards my neighbourhood and I suddenly saw Lisa across the street. She was sat outside a café reading her book leisurely in the distance, a look of concentration painted on her face. It was like an illusion.

It had been a while since we'd last spoken, since I'd last seen her but she still took my breath away as if it was that very first meeting all over again.

To avoid any awkwardness, I planned to walk in the other direction. I didn't know how to even say hi to her anymore, she probably didn't want me to. Yet just as I was about to cross
the street, I heard her calling out to me from afar.

"Jennie?"

I turned around and smiled. Smiles were always so natural whenever I was around her. Slowly, I made my way towards her table as she put down her book. She stood up and pulled me into a hug instinctively, the same warmth I'd been missing was suddenly there again. She smiled so sweetly and gestured for me to take the empty seat beside her.

"Hey, how are you? It feels like it's been so long!" She stated calmly but it just annoyed me.

"That's because it has." I glumly replied, sitting there beside her was like the best feeling and the worst feeling combined. She could tell I was irritated, she'd always been able to read me well.

"Have you been okay?" She asked, reaching out to hold my hand but I pulled it away.

"You just think you can just ask that?" I was so mad at her but at the same time I just wanted answers.

She looked at me confused. "What's wrong? I told you I was going back to Thailand for a while?"

"But you didn't say for how long, you never called me. You didn't say you got there safely or that you were back in Seoul! I was so worried about you.." My voice trailed off, feeling the pent up sadness within me rising to the surface.

She cast her doe-like eyes to the table, playing with her hands. "I wanted to call you but it was a really difficult time, Jen. My aunt was unwell and there was a lot I had to deal with. I'm sorry, I just didn't want to burden you."

"Burden me? I care about you, I want you to be able to tell me what's going on in your life!" I argued back. It was like I didn't have the right to demand anything from her, we weren't together but I still felt conflicted by these feelings I had.

"I've only been back a few days, Jennie. You could have called me too you know." She joked but the smile on her face fell when she saw the teardrop roll down my cheek.

"I thought you didn't want me in your life anymore." I whispered quietly, my heart breaking.

She reached for my hands across the table and held them tightly, they fit so perfectly together. Why couldn't she see that? "That'll never be the case, I promise. I'm sorry I didn't call sooner."

"I felt empty without you." I mumbled, as she moved her chair closer beside me.

She pulled me into another cuddle, filled with nostalgia and comfort as I let myself melt in her embrace. "I felt the same too."

We stayed like that a long time as I contemplated on her words. I didn't want to let go for fear she'd vanish again. Yet as I finally glanced back up at her, there was a sparkle in eyes that told me she would be there, in that moment no words were needed. For once, there was finally comfort in silence.