Together at last || Jenna Ortega x Y/n (female)

Chapter 8

Pov: Y/n

It had been five days now since we admitted we liked each other, and those were as peaceful as they could be. They consisted of nothing but tenderly displayed affection for each other, just existing and experiencing the world together - no matter if during one of our many walks or on the couch in each other's arms, cooking and eating together, or talking about everything and nothing at the same time—loving glances at every opportunity, caressing each other mindlessly, and soft but passionate kisses.

For years and years, Mark had told me that my sheer existence was wrong and that I deserved nothing but the worst in life. He said, and most of all, showed me exactly that so often it had started to imprint in my brain, leaving me to believe everything he said was true. Making me think that every beating I got, every time he raped me, every earth-shattering thing he said to me, was my fault and that I deserved it. I tried so hard to be a better person for him and changed who I was to accommodate his every need, but it was never enough - the abuse kept going, worsening as the years progressed.

And now, after just a few days of being with Jenna, I can feel that something inside me is starting to heal. It might sound cheesy, but I know that I can get through everything with Jenna by my side. I just need to look at her for one second, and the troubles in my mind are replaced by hope and love. I no longer think that what I went through was my fault, and even though it's way too soon to be speaking of love, I know that I want to have her in my life like this forever - telling me that everything will be okay and holding me close when I need it. That's all I want, all I need.

Which is what makes this moment so unbelievably painful, saying goodbye to her in a car in front of the airport and her leaving for three months.
I can hear her sniffling into my shirt, making me almost cry myself. "Shhh, it's okay, sweet girl. We're gonna be okay, you'll be distracted by work, and the time will be over sooner than we can grasp, okay?". I don't believe a word I said, because I know being apart will be incredibly hard for the both of us - but it's what she needs to hear right now. She already felt terrible for leaving, and I didn't dream of making it even harder on her.

We held onto each other tightly until the last possible moment, like both our hearts would stop beating the second we separated from the loving hug. And after we kiss one last goodbye and I make her promise to text me the minute her plane hits the ground, tears start pouring down my face as I watch her getting out and walking to the entrance - each step separating us further, leaving a rapidly growing lump in my throat. After a few more minutes, I managed to put myself together the most that is possible right now and give the driver our home address.

The drive home was excruciatingly hard, and nothing was able to distract me from the fact I would soon be at the apartment that had been our safe haven alone. For three months. Fuck.

Not even listening to music through my headphones helped. Each song was either too happy for my mood, reminded me of Jenna, or just sounded like shit, even though I normally liked them. When the 40-minute drive, which had felt like 2 hours, was over, I went straight to bed even though it was only 7 pm. My therapist had prescribed me sleep meds two days earlier, and I already felt they would be my life safer now that I couldn't sleep in the embrace of Jenna's arms for a while. I just really hope that even though it felt like this might be the longest three months of my life, I would still somehow manage.

Well, little did I know what was about to come...

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This is kind of a filler to transition from Jenna and y/n being together 24/7 to being apart - so don't worry, the next chapters will be longer again! :)

Also!!! When I started this story I was home sick so I had a lot of time to write, but now I'm back to work so it might be longer periods between updates. Plus, I wanted to start putting more effort into my writing & kinda tried that out during this chapter. Did you notice or am I delulu & completely suck at this? 🤠