Together at last || Jenna Ortega x Y/n (female)

Chapter 18

Pov: Y/n

One day passed. And then the next, and the next, until it's been one week since the breakup. Every day was worse and more challenging than the day before. The giant hole in my heart grew with every passing second, and I longed for nothing more but to be with Jenna again. To fall asleep next to her, hold her close, and love on her like it's what I was created for - and have her do the same. To get back the bubble of love that surrounded the two of us, protecting each other from every hardship that came our way.

Because everything was manageable as long as I was with her. I'm almost in physical pain because of how much I missed her. She hasn't reached out to me, and neither have I. It's not like I didn't want to, but the thought she hurt me so badly without even realizing what she did was wrong stopped me. I wasn't going to make any of this easy on her. Not out of spite or anger - but because she needs to realize her mistake and acknowledge how she pushed me away even though I would have done anything to make the Emma-thing work for her, for us.

I get that it's hard for her to have the feelings she does, I really do, but just like I told her - it's something we could have handled together. In my mind, that's not a reason to break up.

Today would be my first day of work. They had delayed the start due to the incident, but couldn't push it further than this because of the contracts. Also, they had to write Xavier out of the script since Percy was still, well deserved, rotting away in a prison cell until he would be brought to the US for the trial.
I hope he will get put away for life for what he did to Jenna. Even with my newly found negative feelings for her - or more for how and why she broke up with me - I love her and want him never to be able to hurt her again.

Like in slow motion, I start to get ready for the day ahead. The thought of having to face Jenna made me horridly nervous. I was scared I couldn't contain my emotions, and I would have to quit this job to avoid her. Yes, it was an incredible opportunity, but I'm well aware of how unstable my mental health still is, and I will do everything not to fall back into a deep black hole again. Well... I was already a foot deep in said hole, but until now, I could at least pretend that this situation wasn't really happening. That Jenna was just away for a job, and once she came back, everything would be great and beautiful like before. But once I would see her on set, I couldn't promise not to break down crying in front of everyone.

I brush my teeth and then step under the shower to freshen up as much as possible. The last few days had me looking like a dead man walking, and that wasn't the first impression I wanted to give everyone. I put on black cargo jeans and an oversized hoodie, then stuff my bag with deodorant, a hairbrush, and my camera. And cigarettes, I'll need lots of those today. Without hesitation, I leave my apartment and head to set - because if I started to contemplate it, I sure as hell wouldn't be able to go.

I arrive at 8 am and go to Tim right away. He wanted to go over a few final details of what he wanted me to photograph - which turned out to be basically everything. Moments of the crew setting up stuff, the cast, people preparing or getting ready for whatever their job was, the scenery, hair and makeup, and everything else that I felt needed to be captured. So basically, I was getting paid to stalk everyone for eight months - but hey, I'm not complaining.

Tim then leaves to do something else, and instead of the anxiety I felt this morning, I'm now genuinely excited about this. For about two seconds - because then I see Jenna walking out of the hair and makeup tent in full costume. She already has makeup on, but I can still spot the dark circles around her eyes. I stop walking and stay as still as possible - like that would make me invisible - when her eyes meet me. Her tired expression turns into something I can't quite decipher, but she manages to remove it as quickly as it appears - withdrawing every emotion from her face. I can't take staring into the empty eyes that were typically so warm and loving toward me for a second longer, so I do the only logical thing. I run.

My feet carry me to the other end of the set, and I'm entirely out of breath when I stop to lean against the wall of a trailer. I close my eyes and tilt my head back, trying to push the interaction out of my thoughts. "Y/n?" I hear someone say, and when I open my eyes, Emma stands right before me. She looks worried. "Oh, hi Emma!" I exclaim, trying to seem cheerful. But she sees right through me. "Y/n, I'm so sorry for what happened with you and Jenna... I never wanted any of this to happen. Trust me, I would never try to split the two of you up intentionally..." she says while fidgeting with her hands and looking at the ground.

"No, it's okay. None of this is your fault. I'm sorry that you're in the middle of this..." I respond. From what she just said, Jenna must have told her why she broke up with me, and her nervous manner makes my suspicions about her liking Jenna almost certain. I like Emma; she's a great person - and it sucks that she feels responsible for this.

"So, how have you been holding up?" she asks, and I bite my lip while contemplating my response. "Uhm... Well, not good. I didn't expect any of this to happen, and I miss her a lot, even though she hurt me," I tell Emma. This is the first time I'm talking about this, and it's so, so hard. Tears begin to roll down my cheek.

"Oh, y/n, I'm so sorry. Jenna... she told me about everything, even that you would have allowed her to, you know, see me if she had asked. I'm not entirely sure what and why exactly she's pulling all of this right now, but what I know is that she's miserable without you. I promise to try and talk to her, make her really think about this again, and maybe change her mind. She loves you, y/n. I think everything will be okay if we give her some time to figure out all of this."

My eyes roamed the ground before, but that made me look up at Emma. I bite my lip, letting her words sink in. I didn't know that Jenna wasn't okay. She seemed so sure about her decision. "Thank you, Ems. I just... even if she changed her mind, I'm not sure if I'm able to forgive her. Not yet, at least. She said something while breaking up with me that really hurt me, and I need time to process that right now," I say.

"Of course, that's understandable. I'm here for you tho, okay? I know it might be weird for you to confide in me about this since I'm kind of in the middle of it, but I'm happy to help you in any way I can," she says with a genuine smile roaming her lips. I nod while reciprocating the smile, and she hugs me goodbye before walking away.

The conversation left me feeling a teeny tiny bit better. Before, I thought Jenna was off living her best life after leaving me, but finding out that she seems to regret this gives me hope.

Maybe, just maybe, there's a way to fix all of this.

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I DONT HAVE TO WORK FOR THE NEXT THREE WEEKS AND IM GETTING MY FIRST TATTOO A WEEK FROM TODAY LIFE IS GREAT

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